“I am turning into a bitch,” my best friend told me once. It is when the word hit on me the most. I have started hearing this term very frequently since recent time. I always considered myself a very nice and kind soul. And my colleague recently opened his big mouth when I didn’t allow him to borrow my car because I myself had some plans. I was scratched into pieces by those words that I cancelled my own plans and rented out my car to him. I had always been nice girl so I didn’t like being called as bitch. The word was stuck into my mind for days and I was not able to breath in fresh air. I was so taken aback. I had done multiple favors and it took him a second to forget all and he used that word against me.
Well, he was just a friend so it didn’t take me long to come out of it. It was just matter of few days.
I think myself as very flexible person who can adjust as per situations, not to bother others. I was always people-pleaser who take zero efforts to put my own wishes on priorities. I was always go-to-girl for favors. We were having group of five people, I was the once who used to follow plans while others were busy in making it. I was supposed to be pleasant personality until the thought of self- empowerment stroked me. I got tired of feeling taken for granted. I was living according to others wish while murdered all my desires. This is when I was crowned as hot bitch in the town. My desires to do for myself was washed-out by that word until I had wake up call.
You are a nice soul till you are doing things as per others wishes. If you are learning your ways, you are a bitch. If you are progressing, you are a bitch. If you are being rude in your tone and not agreeable, you are a bitch. If you are having serious affair with a rich & handsome guy, you are a bitch. If you are making lot of money with your hard work, you are a bitch.
I was always a follower whenever I was with my best friend. We were into a pattern of him making a decision and me agreeing on it. It was working really well and smooth. He is an adventurous guy while I am not too bold to handle it. Still I always accompanied him in all his plans and tried my best to overcome all fears. One morning he wanted to go for skiing and I agreed as always. But I injured my legs so I asked him to go for a movie or something so as to keep my legs unharmed. He insisted he made up his mind for skiing. I tried to make him understand that I didn’t feel well and there was nothing I could do there. He got grumpy and said, “I’m going for it! You can come with me or not.”
I can never forget the look he gave me the moment I said ‘no’.
He than mentioned that the people calling me bitch were right and I am actually turning into one. He warned me to become a nice girl soon. This was the first time I went against his wish, I had right to. I had always accompanied him in all his past plans. I sat for almost 5 hours watching him and other people skiing. Later, I realized that he wasn’t used to of me taking stand. I was not bitch for having an injured leg, I had right to chose my own comfort as well, to the least when I am sick. The light of self-empowerment got a little brighter.
This is when I explored that bitch is used as a defense mechanism against a woman who is progressing in her life. Bitch is used on women who are learning to say “no” and speak up more by people who are used to soft obedience. I was still well-mannered and caring — not a bitch! People were becoming used to of ‘new’ me and I heard that word less and less. You’re not aggressive, selfish or a bitch for taking better care of yourself and speaking up for you. Those words mean you’re transitioning in to an empowered woman who’ll get much more and be happier. That’s a good thing!
