If you’ve lived long enough to the point of adulthood, you would realize that public perceptions and opinions are one of the things that follow us through each stage of our lives. It’s ingrained in every human just like curiosity is, and whether or not we like to admit it, they give us a little bit of insight into a person’s character or situation because they do not come from thin air. Our opinions are widely shaped and influenced by our environment; the things we hear or silently observe.
However, they are not often representative of the facts behind the subject because they lack actual proof and let people base their judgments on personal beliefs and feelings. But thinking about what an interactive world would look like without its inhabitants having opinions across different fields, cultures, people and social issues comes with the realization that it is necessary. There’s no single human who doesn’t have opinions, especially about themselves and their immediate environment. I do too, and that’s how I’m able to acknowledge that my opinions are not always facts.
I like to think of myself as a strict individual who doesn’t play with her personal politics. An introvert who appreciates the presence of others but also values her quiet time. I like to believe that I’m a jovial person who knows how to bring colour to every conversation, someone who knows when to stop when a boundary is being crossed. Most importantly, someone who’s emotionally intelligent. But I’ve come to realize that not everyone sees me this way and that no matter how much I try to push my personality forward, people will always have their own descriptions and interpretations of my lifestyle and behaviour.
I remember growing up and playing with almost every teenager in my neighbourhood, yet I often got comments about being too uptight and difficult to approach. I guess they formed that opinion because they weren’t used to seeing a reserved kid like me feel comfortable with others, and my quiet nature at the time made it harder for them to predict whether or not I would like to be spoken to outside of playtime. I also had restraint when it came to using certain curse words that everyone considered playful and normal. I restricted myself from playing very age inappropriate games, and never really laughed when someone was being unnecessarily mean to others. Hence, the idea that I was uptight.
If I didn’t like someone, an environment, or something that was being said to me under the guise of a joke, my body language and facial expressions would give it away almost immediately. Sometimes, I would write or communicate my grievances via text, and people would instantly realize that I didn’t support their actions. Eventually, I became more verbal in expressing my discomfort, got more intentional about choosing my friends, and my boundaries got stronger.
This followed me into adulthood because most people interpreted my constant need for a quiet space and time to mean being a loner, someone who doesn’t care about other people, or thought my lifestyle was superior to theirs. They misconstrued my desire to let only a few people have full access to me to mean pride. More often than not, my boldness in calling out poor behaviour and indiscipline was considered too forward, like they almost always assumed that I thought myself a better judge of situations or someone with a far better character. My refusal to satisfy people’s wishes and bend my values to accommodate them, alongside my resistance to many traditional views and oppressive systems, has gotten me branded as a stubborn woman.
While all of these opinions about me may not be facts, I do not consider it a problem, and I would never try to change most of these narratives anymore because I’ve realized that the people who hold them are usually not receptive to any truth that causes them to change an opinion they’ve had for a long time. The rest of them probably have an agenda against my personal politics that makes it difficult to see me truly for who I am, with nuance of course. So I couldn’t care less as long as the most important people in my life have the right convictions and justification about my personality and views. After all, the differing opinions and standards these strangers or acquaintances hold me to pushes me to be a better person who re-evaluates her choices and opinions every now and then, and frankly, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
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