Happy Thursday to the Hive Ghana community! It’s my first time writing here, and I’m so excited to explore one of this week’s writing prompts: “First Times.” I hope I succeed in writing my heart out.
Indeed, first times are always unforgettable. If they weren’t, I’d have lost the core memories of the first time I fell in love. It was an experience I didn’t see coming, an emotion I thought would take years to settle into, a joy I reveled in, and a story I never saw ending the way it did.
I fell in love at a time I least expected. I had promised myself not to get into any romantic relationship as a teenager, and I successfully kept that promise until I turned twenty. Then I met a friend who changed everything.
It started one night in 2020 when I sent them a direct message on the Facebook app. I’ll admit, I did that because their profile picture looked so good, and I wanted to take our funny interactions on the timeline to a private chat. So what started with a simple “Hello” and a few jokes turned into an all-night conversation. One night became two, two became three, and before we knew it, four months had passed. Somewhere between this time, we both realized we wanted something deeper than a friendship.
I still remember the night we confessed our feelings. It was surreal. One moment, I was firmly against intimacy, the next, I found myself wanting and accepting it.
Before that time, I often heard people say the butterflies fade after the first few weeks or months of falling in love. But for me, days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and I still felt the butterflies each time I saw them. I was eager to spend time with them, to help whenever they needed support, to celebrate their little wins, and to surprise them with thoughtful gifts without being asked.
We spoke every day, even on the days we were exhausted. We practiced intentional communication to the point where we could almost predict what the other person was doing or where they’d be at any given time. Everyone could tell I was truly in love because they’d never seen me that way before. I often shared bits about my partner online, and I wasn’t shy about expressing how I felt about them being in my life. For me, there was no middle ground. I knew I wanted them in my life for a long time.
But life has a way of teaching us that we don’t always get what we want. And sometimes, when we look back, we’re grateful things didn’t turn out the way we hoped.
We ticked most of each other’s boxes, though. I’d say about eighty percent and we eventually spent over a year together as lovers. During these years, we learned new things from each other, argued about the little things (which I somehow always won😉), laughed over social media drama, shared music, danced together, and even ate from the same plate. Life just felt good despite the ups and downs.
Then one day, I experienced one of the biggest shocks of my life. I discovered they’d been hiding something important from me. It was a bad habit that could make or break our relationship. As I sought clarity, more truths about them came to light and those were the kind of things I knew I couldn’t condone. It hurt deeply because honesty could have saved us both a lot of pain. But they chose to conceal the truth, and I ended up finding out in a way that caused me so much pain. So for me, it was a season of many "firsts."
I fell in love for the first time. I secretly checked a partner’s phone for the first time. I got heartbroken for the first time.
And if I had to sum this experience up in one paragraph? I'd say it was the first kind of love that came unexpectedly and changed the trajectory of my life. It taught me to be selfless, genuine, expressive, and willing to share my space. But it also reshaped how I view human connection. I now see it as something fickle and sometimes painfully complex.
I realized not everyone has the courage to show up as their true self and let you choose them honestly. Most importantly, I learned to choose myself. For the first time, I walked away from something I thought would last forever because my well-being mattered more than trying to fix what was broken.
So, for what it’s worth, I’m grateful for first times. They remind us that even in painful situations like heartbreaks, there’s always something to be thankful for when we look back.
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