Cover image designed by me with Canva
Most of us if not all have been fortunate to grow up with parents or at least a father or mother figure. They in large parts have contributed to the kind of adults we are growing up to be and how some of us already are. Whether good or bad, our parents have left their mark on us.
It’s no surprise most of us yearn to be parents and to either replicate how we we treated or to stay far away from the treatments we were given.
I come from a family of 7 where fortunately I’ve had my mom and dad with me throughout my life. I can’t necessarily call my family a modern home but we are a home.😅
I can’t complain much about how my parents treat me but if I had children, I would certainly do some things differently and most certainly stick to some of the ways they treat me.
First and foremost, I would like to have a relationship with my kids where they tell me everything. I do not want to use the term best friend because I would still like to instill discipline and being my child’s best friend could confuse that. I could be wrong though 🤷🏾♂️. So yes I admire children who can go to their parents and have conversations about anything. I can speak to my parents but not on every subject. If you know out African parents you know they dodge certain topics 😅.
A super chill dad with rules like my title suggests is a kind of dad I want to be. I want to be dad who has laid down rules which aren’t just set up by me but by the whole family. That way anyone who goes against them have themselves to blame. But if you stick to them you’ll have a chill time with him. Of course the use rules aren’t going to be strict but flexible after all we wouldn’t be living in a “yes sir boss home”.
I would also like my kids to have a strong religious background. I am a muslim and knowing the little I know about my religion, I would want my kids to have a good relationship with God and know a lot about the religion.
I would like to be a parent who can apologize. Most often even if our parents are wrong about something and know they are, they do not say sorry to you or even admit it. They just continue with their lives like nothing happen. I believe doing so makes it difficult for us kids to admit when we are wrong and apologize. Maybe it’s one of the reasons a lot of us find it difficult to open our mouths and whole heartedly say “I am sorry”. I mean if you’ve grown up in a society or an environment where know ones does that, why should you? So I would like to be able to say sorry to my kids.
If I had my way, I would never argue with my spouse in front of my kids. As kids or children, we do things we see our parents or older siblings do. I have been fortunate to grow up in a family where I have not heard or seen my dad and mom quarrel. Of course they have their misunderstandings but one things I’ve never seen them do id quarrel in in front of us. I would most definitely want to have that kind of family where my wife and I do not quarrel in front of our kids.
I would also like to be a dad where my children seek for financial advice. Just looking at my life, I see that I pick financial advice from my friends sometimes and luckily for me most of us are into the same thing so at least we’re a bit informed about what we want. I would like that before my kid ventures into a business opportunity he or she at least speaks to me about it. Even if they do not, I would be happy if they told me they lost an investment. There are so many scams that unfortunately I’ve had my own experiences. It’s always good to share that with people you care about to help them not fall into the same trap.
I would want my kids to trust me more than anyone else and not even have doubts about anything when it comes to consulting me or telling be it personal life, relationships or finances.
So yeah these are a few things I would want to do as a parent and the kind of parent I would like to be.
Thank you