I've met many wonderful people while playing Neverwinter. Some I hit it off with, some I don't. I was friends with a person for two months until one thing after another made me feel crappy about myself. They forgave my goofs, but I couldn't forgive or forget my goofs. I did my best to make it up to them until they refused any of my offerings. One tiny thing after another, it builds up over time. To save this person any more of my goofs and to save my own sanity, I simply said goodbye and blocked them.
Maybe that was crappy of me, but how can it be crappy if I actually feel relief? The relationship was strained. Nobody else wanted this person in chat or to play alongside. I thought, "Not everyone can get along. No big deal, I just need to be patient." Denial? Possibly. I do have trouble letting go of friends.
The situation became much worse when my own guild told me not have this person along. How many signs does it take for me? Idk. I did know that all the other wonderful people I'd met wouldn't join us to play. Said this person was bossy, that they had a wife or mother and didn't need another, etc. Oh, things got bad. Real bad, until the game was more work than fun. What to do? I couldn't tell this person they needed to change for us, that would've been crappy.
I had to make a decision for myself and my crew. They all had already blocked this person, but I stuck it out. I went as far as my reasoning and sanity would allow for, until I'd had just too much. I blocked this person, and when I did relief washed over me like warm blanket. I could finally enjoy the game again.
Was this crappy of me? I feel better, but also a tad guilty. It's never easy letting go, but hopefully they'll find better people to run with. This person taught me all about the game and how it was played, so there's a sense of debt owed, but when said person did not improve over time alongside me, I outgrew them and the friendship. I'm no angel, I'm human and am allowed mistakes, I just hope this wasn't a huge error on my part.
Of course, I could always switch over to TERA. I'm hearing good things about it. I still have 80 days of VIP on Neverwinter left, so I'll stick it out, wait and see how things progress. Hopefully this person will move on, but I know that if looks could kill and if we were in the same room, this person would happily strangle me. Was it a good call, only time will tell. Until then I'll do my best to keep me sane and happy.
And...life goes on..ever forward...into the future.
Much love and light,
X
(Photo courtesy of Google images)
