There is something deceptively wrong in the way you deal with your suffering. While on the outside you only seem worried about the glory of God, the unconquered nature itself is causing you problems in the recondite. I'm sure you want God to be glorified, but you want His glory to be expressed through the testimony that He has made you perfect. Let me tell you that this feeds self-love. Simply, it is a subtle trick of one's nature.
If you really want to mature through the discovery of your defects, do not justify yourself or condemn them. Instead, bring them with meekness before God. Agree with Him in all the things ... even those that you can not understand.
Remain at peace, for peace is what God desires for you without import what happens. In fact, there is a peace of conscience that sinners should enjoy since they repent. The suffering should be peaceful and tempered with comfort of God. Remember the wonderful word of God that once it delighted you ... the Lord was not in the noise and noise, but in a voice gentle and delicate. (I Kings 19:11)
