This has been a project that has been on my "todo" list for months. It is, in fact, a younger project than many others on my todo list, which have been there, in some cases, for over a year.
Some time last year I came into possession of this "crappophone." A "crappophone" is, by snide definition, a phonograph made from whatever parts are available and marketed as "an authentic vintage phonograph." This particular machine is a reproduction and, by definition a crappophone. Regardless, I like how it looks.
That said, the horn for this particular machine is not original and came from another reproduction which was also broken. This crappophone needed a horn, so I decided to marry them together. Unfortunately, when I did this the first time last year, I was in a hurry and ended up stuffing a sock in it, literally.
You can see how well it doesn't fit. The horn should be much higher; currently there is no place to put a record on.
It should look, at least, something like this:
I do not have a machine shop at my disposal. My shop is geared toward wood and trinkets, not machining. Even if I did have something better available, I would not have wanted to spend a great deal of time - or even safety goggles - to repair this. So I went instead with a moldable plastic.
These credit card sized moldable plastics look pretty neat. I've never used one before, but it looks rather straightforward: melt it in hot water (or even a hair dryer), mold it, let it set, and boom, Bob's your uncle.
So off to the kitchen I went with a kettle of boiling water (I simultaneously made tea) and a used peanut can to hold plastic.
So, the instructions say to warm the plastic in water at about 65 Celsius. I put them in boiling water. They definitely melted.
Initially I had been thinking I'd be able to mold the plastic by hand. Not so. It's very possible that boiling water was too much; in hindsight, in fact, it likely was, since I really just wanted to be able to mold the plastic and not paint it or pour it. Regardless, it set really fast. Like, within 2 minutes it was hard.
I was, however, able to paint the liquid plastic onto the base of the horn before it solidified. Right at the moment the entire crappophone looks like this:
So there's a question, of course, as to if the machine works and plays a record. The answer is a resounding... meh. It spins. It makes noise. The motor is awful and alternatives between playing real l l y s l o w and then speeding up so fastthatyoumighthinkitsallhighoncocaine. But that's not the point, nor my purpose.
This machine looks like it was designed to be a Halloween decoration, and a Halloween decoration it will be. It is no longer a crappophone, for I have dubbed this my horrorphone. It will be a main piece in next years Halloween spread, which is something I live for.
(c) All images and photographs, unless otherwise specified, are created and owned by me.
(c) Victor Wiebe
About Me
Sometimes photographer. Wannabe author. Game designer. Nerd.
General all around problem-solver and creative type.
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