I experienced over 20 years of depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, addictions, six - 30 day hospitalizations, 6 rounds of Electric Convulsive Therapy (ECT), and an untold amount of very powerful pharmaceutical psychotic drug treatments running from about 1979 - 2000. What was the root cause of my 20+ year journey through hell?
Tree struck by lightning summer 2017
Trauma, lack of healthy communication skills, emotional & mental immaturity, lack of healthy role models and a lack of skills on how to heal and maintain healthy boundaries - all stemming from a profoundly sick social construct that manifested from generations of colonization, violence, abuse, coercion, lies and deceit. Our society breeds illness and then blames the individual for chemical imbalances, mental illness or lacking the will to heal. I believe that 99.9% of the people taking anti-depressants are not in fact dealing with chemical imbalances but rather manifesting symptoms as a result of cognitive behaviours that are the result of a profoundly sick social structure.
Modern society is deeply sick and very unhealthy for us. People 'escape' to nature just to recharge and heal during their short slavery holiday breaks. Why go to nature? Why do we feel so relaxed and at home on the lake, in the bush, camping or on the water? Because that is were we are supposed to be. We are not meant to be crammed into concrete jungles, slaving away for masters and working 40+ hour a week just to survive. We are not meant to be away from our family, have our culture, customs, ceremonies and language extinguished or to pay somebody else just for the privilege of living.
Signs of a profoundly sick social structure (winter 2016)
People are sick as a result of being slaves to a system that harvests our energy, ideas, creativity and time for the benefit of a few high ranking feudal masters. Large cities, tight time schedules, processes and complex infrastructure is designed to ensure maximum productivity. But we are not designed to be a machine to work the factory.
We are creative, loving, spiritual beings, not some cog in the industrial complex. There has been a program running for thousands of years to ensure that we don't connect to our spiritual source and build beautiful relationships but instead focus on physical addictions, consumption and productivity. The slave masters focused on destroying the very things we need, healthy relationships, pristine nature, clean water and fresh air!
If we recognize what a healthy relationship looks like, we would know in an instant when we are being violated, taken advantage of and abused. We would see the violence, coercion, force and intimidation long before it impacted our lives. We would see the fear, confront it head on and have the support of our tribes in the process. The psychopaths would not be able to get away with any of their shit because we could see them coming a mile away.
Time to let the old rot away to release nutrients for the living
But when their plan spans multiple generations, the trauma gets passed down from generation to generation. The abused becomes the abuser and help perpetuate the cycle of abuse without much effort needed by the original psychopath. Years ago it was just fine to take children away from their families, put them into schools and beat their culture out of them. They could only speak English, study church doctrine and be good subjects of the Queen. They were abused, raped, molested and beat without having a voice or being able to find support from their families. While the residential schools, internment camps and even the concentration camps are no longer used, the practice continues.
Taking kids away from their parents to then be in foster homes is no different than what happened years ago. The US government is taking kids away and putting them into detention facilities (aka internment camps). Remember all those conspiracy theories from a few years ago when old Walmart stores were taken over by Homeland Security? Well, now they are being used! Families are being destroyed and the youth traumatized. In some areas of the world, like Palestine, people are being gunned down like animals and age does not matter. The abused now brainwashed into dehumanizing others for the evil agenda that unfolds across this planet. We are witnessing and participating in cultural genocide through all these social structures that we currently think is 'normal', 'free' and 'legal'.
The covert and overt violence has a profound impact on the individual. Shame, guilt and other dark feelings then ensure the individual says confined in their own mind thinking it is all their own fault. Why are people depressed, anxious or suicidal? Because we are not supposed to live this way.
When we open our eyes and start to heal the trauma, we quickly realize that everything we do in life is completely backwards. Returning to Mother Earth, growing our own food, healing and providing for our families is where we are supposed to reside. By working on our relationships we find a connection that we have lost as a result of thousands of years of colonization. We find ways to love ourselves, heal from the trauma and then express that love externally in our other relationships.
Pineapple fruit, 54.5 degrees north, Tawatinaw Valley 2016
Spirit is allowed to then fully engage and start fulfilling its life purpose. Our life purpose is not to be slaves but rather to learn how to be powerful, self-governing, spiritual, creative beings. We cannot do that when we are slaves.
The sadness and pain that I experience each day is a result of being a witness to the violence, killing and pain that others go through. My capacity to empathize is strong and it pains me greatly. However, I use that as motivation to keep writing, encourage change and rebuke violence.
Drugs are not going to heal this evil epidemic that is sweeping the planet. Profound, meaningful and significant changes in how we interact with one another will. It must start with healing thy self first! The solution is within and I cannot express enough how important it is that each and every single one of us find a way to do the work and heal.
Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself - Matthew 22:39
Until we get this work done, we won't be able to see the solutions to all the violence that goes on around us. Wars will rage on, anger, hatred, envy, greed, contempt, etc will all continue for generations. The biggest epidemic of our time is a lack of self love, boundaries and commitment to peace and prosperity. The only reason the slave masters get away with their shit is because we let them. The moment we love our self and set the boundary where we will no longer tolerate violence, they lose!
When we heal ourselves and fix our social structures around us, depression, anxiety and suicide will go away. We have a lot of work to do in order for that to happen. The good news is that we don't have to change the whole world to accomplish this, but rather just our little corner of the world. The power and influence remains with each individual!
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