I've been going through some intense learning over the last few weeks and I have no doubt that there is more on the way. I want to share a revelation that I found tonight as I continue to walk this journey on Mother Earth that we call 'life'.
As my faithful peeps know, I went through years of depression, suicide attempts, hospitalizations, drug treatments, addictions and a whole host of other tribulations that culminated in me hitting rock bottom. I was confronted with a choice, change or die. For years I've been writing and sharing about how this one choice was a foundational surrender that changed my life. I chose to change and that is what started me on this journey of healing, freedom and mentorship.
For years I felt that this one surrender event was me surrendering to Creator, but I'm just now starting to realize that this whole surrender process is more complicated than this one event. While the recover process from depression and suicide was over long ago, I've still gone through mini surrenders as I continue to circle around and revisit the lessons that I learned back in 2001. This has allowed me to fine tune and dig deeper into the core beliefs and healing that I went through 18 years ago. That journey was, by far, rooted in emotional healing and I'm just now realizing that there is much more to this surrender journey than what I originally thought.
Now that I look back on my life, I realized that the martial arts training that I took to help me recover definitely required a physical surrender as I explore the full capabilities of what my body can do. My recent recover from cancer is also a huge component of my journey to physically surrender and allowed me to really focus on my physical needs of my vessel, even deeper than what I learned through my martial arts training. But by far, the biggest physical surrender was to walk away from the system and move off grid to reconnect with Mother Earth and trust that she will provide for all my physical needs.
But what about intellectual surrender? Well, now that I reflect back, I have no doubt that when the whole fictional construct was introduced to me back in 2005, I went through a 6 month transition where I was angry, frustrated and scared. My intellect had no idea how to reconcile the lies, deceit and fraud that I found when I started to research and realize just how much I was deceived by those in authority and power. However, due to my emotional surrender in 2001, I managed to reconcile my feelings and come to terms with the intellectual truth of what I found. I surrendered a lot of core beliefs that my intellect had in regards to how I thought life was supposed to be like and I started to explore ways of walking my own path despite what the world was doing.
I've been writing and sharing about that journey for years and thought that I had everything figured out. But I still struggle with a few things and one being my relationship with my neighbours. They are abusive, violent and down right rude. They love using the coercive power of the state to force their way and yet they think they are justified and righteous in doing so. I've struggled on how to maintain my boundaries with them without engaging in violence myself. The stress and anxiety that I felt was intense as I felt raped and violated by their very presence.
Yesterday my tribe introduced to me a new concept that I thought I had already accomplished, but how woefully wrong I was. Spiritual surrender is the topic of this post as I work to explain the Four Surrenders. Consider this:
"In perfect love there is no attack, nor any need to defend" - Raylene Loyie
When Raylene told me this I thought she was absolutely crazy. How in the hell could something like this be true when people all over the world engage in violence all the time. How can me standing in perfect love protect myself to the point where I don't have to defend myself at all? I thought she was crazy to even suggest such nonsense. I thought that my friend had gone off the deep end. This idea goes against everything that I learned through my emotional surrender back in 2001 and what I witness all around me in this brutal world.
But let's for the moment give her the benefit of the doubt here and explore what she is trying to teach me. When things happen in my life, they are there to help me learn and grow as a spiritual being. I will admit that the neighbours are hear to teach me something. The problem is that I externalized the lesson and blamed the stress, pain, trespass and other feelings on them. In the past I would have confronted them as that is what I was taught. But let's dig into this idea deeper.
What if my reaction to the neighbours is an illusion? What if I created those feelings by reacting to their actions? What if the situation is there to help me learn how to do a spiritual surrender and when I do that, Creator, Mother Earth and the whole universe will then start to flow to accommodate the love that I am expressing and find ways for healing to take place or for us to part ways? What if the violence we see is a spiritual illusion, only manifesting because we have yet to completely surrender to Spirit?
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. - Ephesians 6:12
I think what my friend was trying to tell me is that the fictional constructs that I've been speaking about was created by those with 'spiritual wickedness'. I've even suggested in other posts and even in my book 'Graduating Life with Honours' that the devil does not own the world but has the power to command the kingdoms of the world. What that means is that his domain is the governance models that we all struggle with on a daily basis, which includes our own personal governance models. I've worked hard to outline those fictional constructs for years and I've been able to extricate myself from them. However, I failed to realize that even my own governance attempts still fall within his domain. I did not take my own freedom far enough. The intellectual surrender that I did to remove myself from the state allowed me to do the important work over the years, but then I ran up against the physical conflicts. While my emotional and physical surrender helped me get through a lot over the years, I was missing some key components.
Parts of me recognized that Spirit is the place to be, but I was still stuck focusing on the 'flesh and blood'. But that is not where we are supposed to focus. So while my eyes and ears can see the violence and abusive behaviour of others, that is yet another layer of distraction and spiritual lies! There is a spiritual battle going on and the evil on this planet is functioning at the Spiritual level, which manifests into the physical and fictional. Until we realize this and surrender spirit to Creator, it will remain difficult to manifest peace and freedom on this planet as we are not doing our work in the Spiritual Realm.
So how in the hell do we do bypass the Fictional and Physical Realm and express ourselves in the Spiritual Realm?
Well, that is a great question that I'm still working on.
My friend Raylene suggested that I start asking Creator to show me the truth and discard the illusions. I don't want lies in my life, but I never realized that there are spiritual lies too! They rest in my own distractions and in blaming others for the problems in my life. While the emotional, mental and physical approaches worked for many years by confronting others regarding their shit, the spiritual approach works very differently.
When I do a Spiritual Surrender, I will find that Creator will then start to organize the universe for me and protect me even more than he does now. Each surrender provides a specific level of protection and I can testify to that in spades. I know that I'm protected, but not 100% protected yet.
So over the last 24+ hours I've been on a mission to complete my first truly Spiritual Surrender. No more blaming my neighbours! Instead, I work hard to see and hear the truth only. No more illusions. No more lies. I'm done with that shit and that included my own shit too!
The manifestations that resulted are astounding. In 24 hours I've had three opportunities presented that could easily manifest in prosperity that would allow us to buy out our neighbours to help them find greener pastures, essentially removing the conflict simply, easily and quickly. Astounding! That would allow us to then finish our project and kick start our dreams of building a world class training facility on this land that we steward. It is our dream to teach people how to live off ALL the grids, reconnect to Mother Earth, Creator and all life.
I'm quickly realizing that part of that journey would also include a process on working through the Four Surrenders; Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual. I'm still walking the path and trying to figure out the full scope of what a Spiritual Surrender looks like and feels like. I will be writing more about this in the future. But my feeling is that my friend Raylene is actually on to something that is profound and powerful.
Imagine Spirit rearranging the world around you so that you no longer have to defend yourself? Granted confrontation may still be required, but if Creator organized your life so that you did not need to engage in violence or experience violence of any kind, then would we actually be able to bring Heaven to Earth?
The Spiritual Surrender is the hardest of the four. It definitely requires a leap of faith. My intellect rejected this idea as it flies in the face of nearly 20 years of learning, teaching and practicing. But I have faith and I will work on this surrender.
"Deliver me from mine enemies, O my God: defend me from them that rise up against me." - Psalm 59:1
How?
By seeing that violence is an illusion. I know that this is an astounding claim and most people will reject it as being crazy. But when I am completely honest with myself, I must admit that my 'reaction' to the neighbours is nothing but a reaction and an illusion. I created the stress, anxiety and turmoil. I invited them into my life to teach me this lesson. When I see all of that as an illusion I am left with the truth.
I have zero control over them or the situation and I've known that for years. In fact, I've written about this as well when I suggest that we cannot change anybody but our self. Spirit is what guides everything on this planet. Everything!!! As such, it is my duty to surrender to Spirit completely. Then and only then will Spirit start to teach me how to manifest in my life, as long as I remain in the truth and not get hoodwinked, enticed or tempted to fall for the illusions and lies of the spiritual beings that govern the fictional constructs that seems to have everyone under their grip.
This battle is spiritual in nature and we cannot win it if we focus on fictional or even physical modes of conflict. That is the illusion. That is why we don't seem to get very far. When we focus on the fictional or physical means of resolving conflict, the cycle continues because we are completely ignoring the root causes: evil spiritual beings.
To rise our level of consciousness over and above the fictional and physical requires that we obtain our freedom but also absolutely demands that we be peaceful and surrender to the Great Spirit, Creator of the Heavens and the Earth. We do that through perfect love and allow ourselves to see past the grand fictional, physical, emotional and intellectual illusions that have blinded us for far too long. We cannot do this work if we continue to be in conflict with others. If we are in conflict, it is a lie and that should be our first tip! We must find a way to come to term with these truths and find peace with ourselves while not blaming or externalizing our feelings or actions towards others. That is the great lie and illusion.
When we find our way through that illusion, life really does start to shift; quickly and profoundly. We need spiritual warriors, not physical soldiers, fictional politicians, lawyers, judges or jails. This is a spiritual war and we need to evolve our consciousness so that we can rise above the lies and stand in the spiritual jurisdiction to take on the spiritual evil that governs this planet. Perfect Love is the tool to do that. I'm doing my best to describe this process based on what I've learned over the last 24 hours. I will most definitely be writing about this more as I move forward through this process.
But so far, I am deeply moved and awe struck at how powerful Creator is and how easily life manifestations change. I'll keep you posted. I love you!!!
Sunlight reflecting off the wind blown surface of our dugout
