Letter to social services

G'day @centerlink I'm a fair dinkum kiwi livinin stray and I bloody well means to stay.

I came here chasing love, fell for an aussie Sheila but she left me high n dry some 5 years ago for a Māori woman.
Now I'm still here and I'm a little bit messed up ya see I moved here with 80k and now it's all gone. I spent most of it on coopers reds and vehicles that ended up lemons.

I can't receive the real dole which is a bit shyte because I'm disabled, broke me back on a boogie board when I was 17 and can't work like all these other bogans.. I lived for over 10 years on the benefit in the land of the sheep luvvas but that all ended when I touched aussie soil... which is why I'm Givin crypto a go! I live outta me caravan up in the sunny coast about 20 mins from the Steve irwin zoo... just waiting for my aussie mates to accept me into @teamaustralia so that I can sink me sorrows in another box of cooper's and lead a normal life again.

So why the bloody hell do I deserve sponsorship? Well... because this stories bloodywell true. Every part of it!!
Cross me heart!!
for further proof, Here's me viscount caravan complete with number plates from the old lemons, a messy outdoors workshop with a stop Adana sign and yeah, I live on an old tennis court

Oh and I've learned your language too so I reckon I'm good to go! Here's me dank wee kitchen, she's a beaut