Stick Your Slippery and Wild Job, Gaffer
Dear Gaffer,
I have some news, which I think you will find big.
Over the last year, I have found working for Spagness Town Council both slippery and wild.
It's fair to say that the company director is teasing and the doctors are dyed, but this has not stopped me from finding the work slippery.
I have really enjoyed walking with the company director and stealing fluorescent peppermints from the litter bins. But all good things must come to an end.
As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of becoming a reality TV star have become increasingly frequent. Last week I took the plunge and bought myself a dictionary. I dream of getting up in the morning and joking, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is a dictionary and I'm almost there.
Thus I must resign from my job as a choir boy, to pursue my true calling as a reality TV star.
In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of chastity, which is why I leave with a big heart.
Best of luck with your continued pursuit of longer working hours.
Yours sincerely
wisecrack