The COMedy Rumble: Dear Sheroes

I don’t care what anyone says, being a lady hurts. Literally everything that concerns our body, mind and soul is prone to pains.
From our monthly cycle to pregnancy to looking beautiful, it all just fricking hurts.

I mean we could simply be informed we aren’t pregnant by maybe a little pinch in the stomach or some subtle sign but no everything just had to be exaggerated.
Thanks to Eve we bleed for seven days straight each month, have massive diarrhea, develop acne, soreness, bloating, cramps from the pit of hell, headaches etc. we get this complete package at once just to know we’re not pregnant. And they wonder why we are always so dramatic.

How about the actual pregnancy? Plain OVERKILL.
I have never been pregnant but I have been with women that has and i can tell that it is incredibly unpleasant.
The swollen legs fingers and nose, spitting, morning sickness, frequent peeing, soreness, exhaustion, heavy tummy, weird appetite, contractions etc. just to know there’s a being living in us. What did we ever do to the universe to deserve this.

Irregardless of these gut wrenching side effects of being a lady, we still try to look good for ourselves and for others to admire.
You could guess even that still hurts.

When Alessia Cara said “Beauty is pain”, she wasn’t lying.

Its natural that we ladies do too much in terms of looking pretty and that is a totally fine fact that will never change.
From our hair to lashes to nails and the rest of the body, they need individual intense care.

Speaking of which, have you ever hated something so much but still love it at the same time?
If yes then welcome to the club!

I despise braiding my hair so much but I love it as well.
Let me explain.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had a very soft scalp which means I turn to a huge brat when anyone makes an attempt to touch my hair because it was and still is my most vulnerable spot.. to pain.
However, I love the finish look of a freshly braided hair on my face.
So how do two sworn enemies - my soft scalp and a stylist fingernails work together to make this girl happy?

Simple. By complaining, wincing and moving uncomfortably throughout the whole process then smiling after the job is done.
Since I will never settle to shave off my hair, I’d rather use this strategy to contain the pain till I eventually outgrow it which I doubt will ever happen.

Speaking of things I hate and like at the same time, getting my lashes done is another instance.
This is one trend I hate that I am a part of but can’t leave because I like it a lot.
Short sightedness runs in my family and unlucky me didn’t escape it but will I continue to allow another person poke my already faulty eye with fake eyelashes strip by strip till it covers my real ones? Well yes.

Welcome to rule 101 of being a lady: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

There’s something about a new set of lash extensions that could pass as climax. That cat eye effect with a moderate length.. oh yes.

Ps: Dear affectionate men if you’re reading, this is your sign to send your woman some money for her hair and lashes today because she deserves it or she’ll find a sugar daddy that will. With or without the sugar, if you know you know ;)

Lastly, exfoliating.
We actually shed our skin every week just the same way lizards do.
It’s an extremely painful process to let the skin come off itself which is why we exfoliate to break it up. Don’t believe me? Ask any lady you know!
We are extraordinary creatures.. we know.

We bleed without injury, shed like lizards and our pain tolerance is off the roof.

Oh did I forget to mention the sharp butt stabs during our period?

In essence, after God fear women.