(Once I was human like you. A very painful experience I may say. I had seen the wheel of fortune go round many times before I decided not to die. I did not plan to lay down my life, a life that was marked by magic and tragedy. But the real magical tragedy was about to begin.)
After an eternal search, the vaults of hell open before me. I descend and envelop myself in its darkness.
Pain and cruelty eat away at my presence. A thousand hungry demonic ticks are sucking the last remnants of humanity from the new supply I am bringing down here.
I walk through the conflagration and she harms me not. I endure again the pains of infidelity and ignorance. Finally arriving at the place where reality has become a matter of fantasy.
Here is where the most destructive force in the world resides. At the same time, it is the safest place in the universe. It is there, where what you think becomes reality. The possibility to undergo any death and to rise again if desired. I bathe in boiling lava. The pain softens the old memories and feelings. Only after all the pain has melted away from my soul do I continue on my way.
Purple crystal surrounds me. The crystals steal my memories, so I can be like a kid again. In complete innocence, I undergo my life once again.
My ignorant toddler shocked forever, my me another. I endure the humiliation, again and again. There is no useful defense against the opinion of the masses. Again I am condemned by the prejudiced and the short-sighted.
My love kills herself and by doing so removes the last residue of humanity from my being. Not with a bullet, but with high treason against everything I believed in. I am required to experience everything again.
Yet I do not wish to die, I resurrect. Broken many times, but not knocked down. I end my way in his presence. I behold his flaming eyes, inhuman but fulfilled. My last earthiness disappears when he banishes my daughter to the other world.
Face to face with the horned outcast I show him my origin. The consequent shame brought upon Him, makes the horned one grin.
It´s a fact that He, cannot destroy me. He brought me to the ruler of the earth, to burn in the fire of his hatred for my humanity.
Source
My head is raised while I accept my new existence.
Still facing each the horned one, I see my eyes reflecting in his. I feel his burning hatred for the other stars. Those who continue to protect my entity. Yet I may join his dark ranks. This pawn plays a significant role and must be side-tracked.
As I accept my role, I know I will be no more the next time I walk in the light of the stars. Somehow the subterranean justice works in my favor. My soul was inhuman enough to occupy the lowest place at the table.
And with that place at the table, I am gifted my devilish attraction. Not Christian charisma, but supernatural karma to disguise my soullessness.
This story is mine and was originally written in Dutch, I finally got around to working on the translation I hope you enjoyed part one.
