A man I know once said, "Humans are perfect imperfections". That is to say, we are the perfect examples of imperfections, and prone to errors; I don't think this statement can be any more true. Unfortunately, although we are quick to pick up what other people did wrong, most times we fail to see our own wrong doings.
Sometimes, we keep holding grudges against a person that wronged us, but when we wrong someone and the person hold grudges, we act as if he/she is making a big deal out of the whole issue.The truth remains that, as long as we have more than one person on earth, there will be disagreement. Therefore, it is important that we learn the act of forgiveness, so that we can live together in peace.
Although when a person forgives someone, it looks as if the forgiver is doing the offender a favour (and yes it is a favor, as the offender may or may not deserve your forgiveness), he/she is actually doing himself/herself a very big favor. I believe that we all have been wronged once in our lives; probably the person did something to us that was so hurtful and we couldn't let it go. You will agree with me that while you held grudges against the person, you lost your peace. Each time you remember what happened, it feels as if you are carrying a very huge weight on your chest. I don't know why it is so, but the truth remains that the weight won't be lifted till you forgive the person.
There is this awesome peace that fills our heart whenever we have no one we are bearing grudges against. This same peace returns to our heart whenever we forgive someone who offended us. Literally, it sets us free. I believe we all have once at a time borne grudges against someone. When walking on the street, deep in our hearts we pray we don't meet them. If by chance we happen to meet them on the road, we feel so uneasy. On the other hand, if we have forgiven them, holding no grudges against them, we are completely at peace even when we meet the offender on the road.
This is why the act of forgiveness is actually more beneficial to the person who was offended than to the offender. Therefore, if you wish to keep enjoying a peaceful and clean heart, you must learn to forgive.
Someone may say that forgiving someone doesn't erase what they have done. Although this is true, but you must realize that holding on to it also doesn't help you in any way. In some scenarios, you may discover that all the while you have been holding grudges, the offender had no idea that he/she offended you. This means that you spent your days, in heaviness, why the person walked around peacefully. In other scenario, you may find out that it was deliberate, and due to the low moral standards of the person, he/she walks around okay with him/herself.
Now, to forgive is not as easy as it is preached. It is something that requires a deliberate and a conscious effort to achieve. But there is an understanding that actually makes it easier to forgive someone. The first is realizing that we are human and we are bound to err. Example, if we actually pay attention to everything that another person does, we will discover that we may pick offense even when the person greets us, or even says "Thank You".
Knowing this fully well, we must learn how to overlook things. For instance, when carrying a baby, and the baby drools on us, we don't shout at the child, rather, we overlook it because we expected that it may likely occur. I believe if we apply the same measure when we deal we are fellow man, it will reduce the extent we are offended.
Another measure that can help us forgive is by lowering our expectation on people. It hurts so much when people who we have placed on high regards hurt us. We tend to find it hard to forgive the person. If we can learn to treat all man, as men full of imperfections, it will help make it easier to forgive them when they wrong us.
Finally, realize that you are not perfect too. Everyday, you offend someone and expect to be forgiven. If you wish to be forgiven when you are at fault, I believe it is fair to forgive others when they have wronged you.
Read, Ponder, Love.
