A throwback to when we got lost. We depended on each other to find the way out, to help each other through the brambles and the thorns. To go up the cliff and come down it.
We were happy, we felt we could do anything, despite our troubles. We had each other.
That’s you! The woman I loved and love. Deeply. Despite everything and anything, I was willing to love you beyond your flaws, your troubles, your bad days, because being together for 4 years, doesn’t just happen like that.
You may hate me now, never want to even talk to me ever again in your life. But I hold you in my heart, my mind, and my soul. I look at your pictures, pictures of us and feel like I’m home.
Because 4 years doesn’t just happen like that. We were meant for each other, with our ways. The things we did. The dreams we had.
I don’t know what hurts more. The fact that you don’t want to talk to me again or the fact that you say you don’t love me anymore.
My mind and heart are confused and dented, you asked me to marry you in April, the look in your eyes, the touch of your hand, it could not lie. And now, I’m sitting here, in another country, dying slowly with the puncture wounds of the broken pieces in my heart.
When I first saw you, when you first saw me. We knew. You told me so. I told you so. How could such a force ever end up like this?
Call me a fool, a disillusioned idiot. But I was and am willing to jump oceans for you, only for you. For us, together. It feels like home. You are home. Always have been.
I could be anywhere but without you, I’m lost. Hate me for this if you want, for I feel like anything I do now will always be wrong. I’ll just silently sit and feel like a life lost, a love lost and a future lost.
The pieces dig deeper and hurt. So much. While you go seek something in someone else, I know that in you heart, you know where home is too.
Because after 4 years, thing’s don’t just happen like that.
