When people use us and then throw us away. When they take advantage of our generous nature and manipulate our actions, out of our anger it’s so very tempting to want to hate ourselves for possessing such traits. To feel as though we must become an entirely different person, to act tough, detached and consistently unforgiving in order to better protect ourselves from others who may wish us harm. But I have come to see that any decision made during a moment of anger will always be devoid of constructive thought and this is no different. For the moment we bite on that feeling of hurt and change who we are in a negative way then we give that person who wronged us a lasting influence over our lives, one that will see us suffer all the more as we will push away those people who are genuine and who would be good friends to us; grinding up the innocent with the guilty.
So I have come to believe that these struggles we face are not designed to tear us down, but rather to build us up. Much like how a computer operating system will automatically receive and install updates in order to better protect itself against malicious threats, have trust that we will have learned well from the experience and that these insights will be applied to our subconscious mind but in a way that is more compatible with our true nature. The only real conscious thing we need to do is to allow our anger to process and then turn our focus towards seeking a greater awareness of the person we already are; to simply become better at being us.
© Westley Nash (2017)