It Matters

It Matters
August 3, 2009 at 9:55am
As I sat alone this morning, my husband had left for work and my fifteen year old son was still in dreamland, I had time to think. All the bedtime kisses and hugs, all the "I am proud of you", all the corrections made to my actions of wrong doings, were for a reason. I remember the day I stopped kissing my parents goodnight. I became too old for such behavior. I wish I could kiss them goodnight each night now before I laid my head to rest. I also remember the days my own kids out grew kissing me goodnight. I wish I had those kisses back again too. I am supposed to be grown now. I clearly remember wanting to NOT have to listen to my parents rules and speeches anymore, knowing I could do life my way and of course so much better. Now this very morning, I want it back. I want the chance again to let them take the responsibilities and decisions of my life and just tell me what to do next. I know it doesn't work that way. I know a 43 year old woman should be sufficient enough for the everyday life struggles. I even know I can handle the struggles ahead, after-all, I have God on my side. It is just, I sat here this morning thinking how I never said thank you enough, I never said " you know, mama and daddy, you were right about this or that". Funny thing is one day I am sure my own kids will realize I wasn't wrong, or just trying to be a boss all the time either. The little girl in me aches for a hug and a kiss before night falls from the two that obviously loved me enough to put their own lives on hold for so many years. The woman in me longs for the hugs and kisses before night falls of the tiny arms and lips I cherish so deep within my heart. Life speeds by without us realizing it has gone past. So today I am going to slow down enough to experience the wonders and treasures I have, before I awake another day years from now and realize even more have passed me by.I do have one treasure, one blessing that I could never have guessed to have. This wonderful gift was given to me about 2 years ago. God crafted this one just for me, with only me in mind. I am going to make certain no rushing around allows me to miss a part of it. I am going to be certain to thank God each day especially for this one of a kind priceless gift. The gift of my unwavering, unconditional love. Funny how as we seem to let so many gifts and people pass us by without realizing it, God slips another precious gift into our lives. Thank you God for Phil, and thank you Phil for loving me.