Smoked a little in my teen years, but nothing serious. More if a social smoker and haven't smoked for 20yrs now.

I totally get what you mess n by

" In my brain I am still going to smoke one day just not today"

You're convincing your brain you haven't quit, just postponed it. By the time your brain actually realised you've quit, you'll be over the worst of the cravings.