For the last 5 years I have been writing and illustrating a book. The illustrations alone make up 12,000+ hours of the work. (It's been my training program) Through the 5 years of training and living and creating.. I have documented myself enough to know by now that we all experience emotional crashes. Even.When. Everything. Is. Absolutely. Perfect.
When I moved to Denver about a year ago, my life felt insanely incredible. I didn't really find my "Tribe" but I was connecting with people and enjoying myself. I was growing and growing in numerous way. Literally, I did not want to sleep because my waking life was so amazing. I even tried to switch from sleeping to meditation, which to be honest, I didn't have the balls to pull off. But then something happened. I plummeted. Suddenly.
I felt as if life was testing me. I looked around at my new friends, my apartment, my job, and my location in the heart of Denver and asked myself over and over again, "Why the hell do I feel this way?" Honestly, I have no f***** clue. I can estimate that we have to feel this way in order to appreciate feeling good. However, that's not a logical conclusion. Perhaps every "crash" has it's own set of perks. Yes, I said perks.
Crashes are good. If for no other reason than making us think, they really are. But I also think emotional crashes are signals from nature telling us to turn the sails. To change direction. Or to realize something special about our daily lives. About 6 months ago, I crashed hard. I packed my apartment up and drove 16 hours home, to my parents house. I just suddenly thought, "I need to get the f**** out of here." So I left.
15 minutes after being on the road I got a call that my best friend and cousin had died instantly in a car crash. Nature calls. The thing is, when she calls me, I listen without question. Because I actually adore change. I need change. Nowadays it feels like every six months. My current emotional crash happened 8 days ago. I'm still crashed. This is not normal for me. Usually my crashes last a day at most because I make a decision to change. Now, I am moving 200 miles away. However, I'm waiting to land a job first. Blehhhh. I can't help but feel like waiting is wrong because I still feel crashed everyday.
I guess the question is; Do I need to change or do I need to be firm and fight through the crash? What will make me stronger, wiser? What is best for me? What is nature telling me? I'm going to get out of this low-energy emotional state, become elated. And Then. I will move. I'm going to get out of this state of mind by planning for my next crash. Sometimes all it takes is a review of notes, cleaning the studio, picking up a good book, getting social or posting on social like I have today. In fact, this seems to be just what I needed to jump start my active traits which have been dormant for the last 8 days.
How do you deal with emotional crashes? How do you get out of them and how do you feel afterwards? How do you feel before them and does your life change, like mine does, every time you crash?
