I decided today that every Sunday I'll be uploading a photo (or a few) from the archive. It will trigger a memory and hopefully that will lead to a story. I'm someone who always loves to tell a good story and this seems to be the place where the right people will get a chance to read it. Digest it. All the while sitting at home or on the beach or in a bar sippin' on something. Taking-it-all-in.
Let's start with a solid throwback to this image right here:
This is the face of someone looking back at their past in an excited yet heart-broken fashion. You see, I had just finished my undergrad at university with the intention to study further. Timing it all so perfectly that I would finish my honors at the same time my then girlfriend would complete her engineering degree. The moment this photo was taken I had skipped my registration to hike this mountain, Lion's Head in Cape Town after taking about 7 days to process what the receiving-end of a heartbreak felt like. That ultimately led to my subsequent adventures but what this picture truly strikes up in my emotional head would be the vast amount of impulse decisions I made in that short time. Decisions that created so much pain-numbing fun I can't help but thank that ex-love for what she did to my fragile heart that is now stone.
I enrolled in a firefighting course and medical aid course all to help me land a job on the super-yachts in Europe later that year. I became a water-sports instructor and spent the last days of South Africa's Summer networking with adventurists, visionaries and hooligans looking for fun. I had the perfect rebound with a girl who still has my heart to this day. Her Austrian beauty took my breath away and what a well-wished send-off my last night in Cape Town was. I found pubs I had never been to in my own city, to partying with foreigners like a tourist in places I went with my ex but never had her come to mind once. I hadn't even left home and I felt I was already gone. Blunting away what ever emotion remained of her, within me. All out of impulse. Out of instinctual panic. Yes this was my first true relationship and probably the first girl I actually ever loved but everything that resulted from the pain led to insurmountable adventure I would never have experienced had I not gone on that hike.
As a matter of fact I would be in the 9-5 rat race still paying off a student loan. Crazy. I have no lesson to this story, maybe if you're reading this you could tell me but looking back it's often the darkest, shittiest places to be in that allow you complete control. Maybe you're just not used to such freedom that it feels uncomfortably alien to behold. I would preach and say embrace it but to be honest, in the moment, you don't even know you have that control. You're bound to your thoughts. I would rather say keep living. Take note of your pain or pleasure but don't give it your precious control. Remain aware, remain yourself and keep sippin'.
