In a heart beat

“There is a limit to the time assigned to you, and if you don't use it to free yourself it will be gone and will never return.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Sometimes everything happens in a heart beat, I believe everything does happen for a reason, there are times when living healthy, being grateful to be & feel healthy just isn't enough. There have been many obstacles in my life, but nothing like this, although it was with me the whole time, without me knowing.

It has been long time since I made the last post, actually it has been a long time since I went on a walk threw the forest or drove a car.

Last time I drove and went on a walk threw the forest, I decided to go get some sweet chestnut's after work, because I always loved them, on my way I actually found even two beautiful examples of Boletus and on my way home, went to visit my aunt where we baked some sweet chestnut's.

We had a great time, but it was getting late and the time was right to go home, take a shower and off to bed. Like normally I ate bit too much of those, because I love their taste. At home I ate another apple and went to bed.

Woke up in the middle of the night with a pain near my stomach, went to the bathroom, then drank some water and went back to bed, when everything turned to worse. I wasn't able to fall back to sleep and around 5am I went to the doctors that is about 14km drive to there, in hopes to maybe get some medicine and everything will be back to normal.

Driving didn't feel safe, nor was the journey, the pain kept intensifying as I got to the doctor. As I got there they checked me over, gave me several medicines and kept me there as they tried to figure out what was going on with me. I started feeling high from everything they gave me, the pain was a lot smaller, but still there, then they called an ambulance to get me to the hospital.

Drove me there with a Mercedes-Benz Sprinter, with a cold Turbo Diesel 6 cylinder, it was a much better experience hearing that unique sound when we drove to the bigger city. When we got to the hospital, that's where everything actually started. I quickly realized that I won't be going to work that day and accepted it.

While waiting for the doctor to really check me out on everything I wasn't even thinking straight, but I had a feeling something really ain't right. The time came when the doctor aka my savior, I'll call her dr. H. checked me out, looked at everything possible, made EKG, scanned me and took 1 minute of her busy time to check out my heart as well. I'm truly grateful that she happened to be a specialist for heart diseases as well. She very calmly and professionally explained what was happening with me, first thing to solve was to get my digestion system all cleaned up as it was full. Then she already ordered me on the next apointment where I will be taking after getting my system cleaned out. The second thing we kind of accidentally found was that my heart isn't working right, probably for some time now, but also told me not to worry, great thing that we found this in the right time and that everything will be fixed.

The next day in hospital dr. H even took few minutes of her launch time to come and check on me, how it was going. I felt better with no pain, with my empty digestion system. Dr. H. explained the process that followed, the same day they moved me to cardiology department, where everything actually started.

After many more researches, scan's, CT, EKG's being connected to a device that monitored my heart 24/7 I started realizing that this thing just got bigger and in days of waiting for surgery, I stared feeling ever so more grateful that my heart disease was finally found as I had it ever since I was born.

I never felt anything really, everything felt 'normal' to me ever since I was little. Last two years I often went hiking, at least once a week, take a walk threw forest even though I live in a area full of hills, have been snowboarding all around my home place and the joy was always getting greater, so was the experience, I will miss for at least a year now or maybe two seasons.

In two weeks of time spent on hospital Celje I took another hit, while waiting for the date of operation I got covid, took me another 10 days to be prepared for the operation and 4 days till the date was right.

Truly grateful for all the positivity doctors and nurses share, with the joy to the work and patience they have, the resilience and good will to help others I got nothing but good things to share about them. True, I was the youngest one in there waiting for the operation, but I had fun and will to also share and spread positivity whenever I had energy to do so.

Gratitude even changed a little bit, it moved a bit more deeper inside me, I'm really grateful that I woke up this morning, that I got a warm apartment I call home, that my heart beats, works normally now, like never before. Grateful for my strong body healing, my cells working and regenerating, that I can think with my own mind, have greater focus on my goals and for this experience that made me discover new lows, greater physical, mental pain and allowed me to grow from it.

Will share more about and after operation, because there is too little talk about heart disease. It has been known to be an illness of the old, but it's becoming more and more common that happens to us younger generation as well.

Thank you for taking time to read, I wish you a good day or a good night and a good life.