The tumultuous emotions that come with loving others, help us to discover our true selves. My husband and I have invested a lot of energy into this thing we like to define as "love". We've dived into deep, scary, uncharted sea, fought wars and made magical things happen when it comes to "us".
Our wedding was unconventional. It was also Easter which ruffled a lot feathers amongst our devout Catholic relatives. It was not planned intentionally. When you live in a small town and you want the most beloved justice of the peace to officiate your ceremony ... dates are pretty limited. We grabbed a day without even realizing. The ceremony was small and intimate. The photographers mother had a heart attack. There was miserable family drama. It was not a fairytale ceremony and yet ...
I just wanted to marry him. I didn't really care about where or how. Our love was magnetic. We loved each other before we'd even properly met.
We've been together for almost half our lives. My husband mentioned last night that 17 years is enough years for a person to grow up, and get their drivers licence.
In our time together we've raised a child and lovingly booted him out into the world. We've climbed the corporate ladder and we've also grabbed hands and leapt off that same ladder, to chase new dreams. We've camped, and road tripped our summer vacations away and we've carved out a new existence for ourselves here at our homestead. We've worked side by side in both our careers and the homestead. My husband likes to joke that we should get double credit for years put in. Not many couples actually want to spend this much time togehter.
We are blessed to have found each other but luck had nothing to do with it.
Marriage is not easy. Neither of us are perfect. We've pushed and pulled, cried and raged and loved with great intensity.
Above all else: Be Good To One Another.
Growth and enlightenment is an essential part of life's journey. Some of us are more focused on this aspect of living than others but we all experience it. This journey impacts relationships greatly. As the decades pass, we are constantly changing, not always at the same time or even in the same direction. We keep learning from each other and adapting to changes in our desires, interests and spirituality.
This journey is not always pleasant and most often it's just as uncomfortable for the one riding that wave as it is for the other, who is trying to understand what's happening. It's this cosmic dance of sorts and we can't seem to get enough of tormenting each other with it. One can easily fall into accusations or rage. making big mountains out of little stones especially when the other is not seeming to "keep up" or "live up" to the others expectations. Humans are complicated and the path to enlightenment is terrifying and not usually graceful.
My mom often comments on how nice our relationship is. She then goes onto say how she couldn't spend that much time with my dad. They need their "space". A lot of people make this type of statement to us. They wait for us to concur or validate this but we don't. that is not the relationship we want with one another. That's not to say their way is wrong. It's just not for us.
We could have easily given up on one another a time or two. I know we've been at a standstill looking over the cliff once or twice uncertain of how we move forward feeling the gulf was too great. Feeling like we were preventing one another from various experiences. We have to remind each other at these times to "be good to one another". Even in the event that one decided to part, it would not erase our story, our journey and our love.
I think that's the best part of this entire experience. I know I have someone who will love me for always even if our journey changes in such away that our paths diverge. That being said, he'll never get rid of me. I am clinging on with all my might. I am addicted to this love.
Don't fear the rawness of love, it is a gift. Be good to one another, always.
Charlotte
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