Do you believe that there are happy people, I mean really happy 24/7? I doubt it.
Once in a while I think, just out of the blue, without a reason: I feel happy. This awareness takes a few seconds. Strange might be I remember this but not the feeling. I guess there's too much misery (from the past) that influenced me, but also.. assume you are always happy, would you still notice it?
I can't say I put me first, I try but I am raised in the wrong way (I work on that). I agree with you it's not more than fair to take care of yourself first.