🗞️ CHAPTER 1 — ORIGIN: THE COMPANY THAT BOTTLED HUMANITY Just a few years ago, I was like you. I thought water was a right, something trivial, almost too obvious to think about. Then I pulled on a thread—and uncovered SECRET, or rather, the empire behind the bottle. And trust me: once you know, you’ll never drink the same way again.
It all starts at the top of a tower, somewhere between Geneva, Dubai, and the Cloud. The company that controls SECRET has no official name—it changes its acronym every three years. Sometimes HydraCore, sometimes AquaDominion Ltd., sometimes just a shell company hidden behind an investment fund. On paper, they don’t sell drinks: they "optimize global hydration through exclusive liquid access management." Translation: they sell water by making it impossible to find anywhere else.
The first shareholders were oil tycoons looking to pivot. They saw the opportunity when they realized oil would eventually become cheaper than water. What followed was a masterpiece of global corruption. Rumor has it that a certain President—who I won’t name to avoid being "suicided" in a dry bathtub—signed the very first Controlled Thirst Pact. Officially, it was to "save the planet from scarcity." Unofficially, it was about trading aquifers for campaign checks.
From there, it snowballed. SECRET’s lobbyists infiltrated entire government ministries. Lawmakers received collector’s bottles engraved with their names, a message etched into the cap: "Vote for your thirst." A few well-placed reforms did the rest: nationalizing water sources only to hand them over to SECRET, shutting down wells under the guise of "health risks," taxing tap water to "encourage liquid innovation."
In some countries, they still swear SECRET funds humanitarian programs: "One liter bought, one cent donated to drill a well in a country we drained ourselves." A drop of charity in an ocean of profit.
You’d think all this would happen in the shadows, like some conspiracy. Wrong. SECRET operates in broad daylight. Their cynicism is their best cover—the bigger the lie, the easier it sells. Just look at their ads.
"SECRET: Now with 0% transparency."
Who would dare believe such a slogan was true?
And the governments? Complicit or client. Did you naively think your taxes funded hospitals? A big chunk goes to subsidizing SECRET to "secure tomorrow’s hydration." In some states, SECRET even became the official supplier for churches—they replaced holy water with their "sanctified" version. They call it Divine Privatization. God’s a shareholder, apparently. A silent one, but profitable.
When a few journalists—colleagues, or should I say, my predecessors—started digging, they quickly vanished from the scene. Some now work in SECRET’s PR department, their voices a little slurred, their bank accounts much fuller. Others… let’s just say… "moved"—six feet under. Me? I sleep with one eye open and a canteen hidden under my pillow.
Because yes, believe it or not, I’ve tasted plain water. The real kind. Not flavored, not "enriched with mystery." Just water. It’s bland, it doesn’t trend on social media, it earns you zero status points. But it’s free. And that, to SECRET, is the worst crime of all.
So you, reading these words—if they even reach you before being bought out, filtered, and repackaged by SECRET’s marketing AI—ask yourself: When did we decide paying for our own thirst was normal?
The truth? We never decided. It was sold to us. Sip by sip, slogan by slogan, lobby by lobby. Today, we buy SECRET not because we’re thirsty, but because we’re afraid. Afraid of being "unfashionable." Afraid of being judged for drinking water without a barcode. Afraid of sitting alone with a tap-water carafe.
Still think SECRET will fall one day? I think they’ll buy the air first. And the second you breathe a little too deep, you’ll get an invoice.
That’s why I’m writing this. And that’s why, if tomorrow you stop hearing from me, know that I probably had "an accident." A drowning—with no water.
Next episode: How SECRET convinced every one of us that dehydration was a crime. Until then—drink free, while you still can.
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