I'm not best man material. Maybe groomsmen material, but definitely not best man. Or at least that's what I thought before my close friend asked to be his best man. Of course I said yes and now I'm trying to figure out exactly what I've agreed to do. Having only been to two weddings in my life, a significant chunk of my knowledge about weddings comes from movies. And while Wedding Crashers is a great film, I don't think those sorts of antics are what my friend has in mind for his best man. So I decided to look in to the origin of the best man and what his responsibilities are today.
As it turns out, the origins of the best man practice aren't entirely clear. As far as I can tell, the origin of the practice has evolved over time. At least for American history, the practice always seems to have existed. Going back even further in time, some attribute the practice to the Goths and Vandals. Back then, weddings could be contentious affairs. Often the bride would be kidnapped from a neighboring territory. The best man's role was to literally be the best swordsmen. He would protect the groom and make sure he made it to the altar safely with his newly captured bride. Once the ceremony was over, the best man would stand guard outside the couple's door for their first night together. While I am glad the role no longer involves the risk of violence (crazy, drunk uncles not withstanding), I think I might almost prefer that to the public speaking. The modern role involves a slightly different set of duties than just showing up with a sword.
At least according to the Art of Manliness, the following duties belong to the best man: plan the bachelor party, get fitted for tuxes/suits, attend the rehearsal, make sure the groom has what he needs the day of the wedding, physically get the groom to the wedding, distribute the boutonnieres, hold onto the groom's ring, sign the marriage license, kick off the reception with the best man's speech, decorate the getaway car, and lastly to take care of the dry cleaning/rental tux return. Phew! At first glance that seems like a lot (but I imagine that's small potatoes compared to the Maid of Honor duties). Right off the bat I was sweating the bachelor party. For those of you that have been following me, you know my health hasn't been the greatest. I was worried about how I could afford and plan a party that I probably couldn't even attend myself. Just making it to the wedding is going to be difficult for me. Again, my only real experience with bachelor parties has been in movies. Picturing some sort of crazy night like The Hangover had me nervous. Thankfully, my friend is pretty loose with tradition and has decided to skip that part of the festivities.
Many of the other duties seem fun or at least pretty straightforward. Decorating the car is a nice touch, and not something I had thought of. I'm not worried about losing the ring or my friend getting cold feet. The big one I am sweating is the speech. I know I'm not the greatest public speaker and I won't know a lot of the family there. I guess the only thing to do is practice ahead of time and keep it short. But if you have any tips on what to do as a best man, please share them with me!
