Portugal is intense this year. Not only with emotions and the weather, also with the adventures on the (or should I say Off-)road. Last Monday I wrote a post about the service of the Dutch road assistance (ANWB). Today I would like to tell more about new experiences with support after roadtrip issues.
Buying a Freelander
I am not talking about issues with annoying kids in the back or a navigator that hasn't got a real sense of direction. No, actually about my biggest expense during this roadtrip: Roadside Assistance & Camper Insurance. Yesterday I was helping friends again. This time being a taxi driver together with a Portuguese personal assistant. My friend wanted to buy a second hand car in Portugal. It's quite a challenge to find a good Freelander that fulfills all personals needs and looks perfect after 20 years. But hey, let's go for it.
Starting in the Mid-East of Portugal, going down to Lisbon, up above Porto and then Santarem. Quit e a distance. Approximately 1000km. Insane to look for a second hand car right? All of them had more issues that the sellers told us. On the way to the south the weather was already pretty bad. What followed was extreme, something I haven't experienced before. People on the toll road were driving just 20km/ph and using warning lights. The amount of water coming down was endless and huge. Hardly any visibility and trying to keep your car on the road without hitting other drivers. It seemed to last forever. At some point I noticed a lack of power on the highway. Arriving in Santarem was fun, this is definitely not the lowest part of the area. Although there were flooded tunnels and roads. Mostly because of blocked sewers. Locals standing knee-deep in the water, trying to fix the wells. Supermarkets that were full of water, cars driving through 50cm heigh water. It was a wet mess...Today the swimming pool was free and you needed more diplomas to take part in local traffic.
We ended up in Porto at some point, for Freelander No.4. We were getting tired, but we managed to get the deal done. There. were a few issues with the car. One of them was the steering wheel, it felt limp when you hold it. Especially when you are driving and taking curves, this is annoying. Some people didn't know what my friend was trying to say. I looked around, we were with guys only...they should understand this.
"It's like having sex without a boner" I said. Now everybody understood.
A new Portuguese friend took us to a local restaurant. I always thought I hated these smelly dry Bacalhau fish in the supermarket. But after putting them in liquid for a while and grill them, they taste pretty nice. The chips were much softer and tastier than they looked and the biggest surprise? I Received a bowl of wine. Vino Verde Tinto (Wine Green Red, sounds more like drinking at a traffic light). I enjoyed it a lot. But after another 2 hour drive I was done. Just fall asleep in the van and continue the trip tomorrow...
Vin and Vin Diesel are still similar in lot's of things
Vin had a lot of Vino last night and not much sleep. Vin Diesel deserved some fresh oil and a little cleanup in the early morning. I slid into the ALDI (the floor was still wet and slippery), to buy some good old Dutch 'stroopwafels'. The search for a top-up for my smartphone was already challenging with the roadwork and blocked traffic, so fuck it. Let's go on.
In town, no problem. As soon as I went on the highway, the same issue popped up as yesterday. Lack of power. Full speed on the toll road was about 60-80km per hour. That slow with a van that has 180 horse powers (it was tuned earlier this year). Reconditioned gearbox, new injectors, new diesel filter, checked turbo's, the correct fuel, tuned ECU, removed particulate filter, enough oil...what could it be? Vin Diesel was exhausted, 20km/hr uphill, WTF?! In Portugal a yellow plate on your cars means you drive a car for disabled people, I hope those folks driving behind me link my Dutch yellow plate to the slow speed of a disabled person…
We both have power and re-charging issues. We don't like a lot of rain. And we feel ignored sometimes. They can't read us or find the true cause of our 'problems'. But we will always get where we want to. You will read more about this further on the story.
We took a break.This time at a paved road, so I could actually use my expensive roadside assistance this time.
They like to fuck (...it up)
Explained the situation, told my exact location, shared all measurements, told I don't have a towing eye on this van, told them I don't speak Portuguese. After 2:45 hours of waiting (this time there is finally some sunshine over here, I started to dry my boots and wet curtains), I received some phone calls from Portuguese numbers. None of the persons that called spoke any word of English...great. After six calls someone told me "Need pictures". I asked "WhatsApp?" "Si!" I shared some pictures of my van. I waited...and waited. I spend a long time at the toilet. Why? Relaxing bird sounds from the speakers, decorated toilet and a nice fresh smell. After 3,5 hours a towing truck came with a Brazilian dude came, again no English communication. With Google Translate I managed to tell him where I needed to go. Idanha-A-Nova (where I came from yesterday). Some of my stuff is still there, my friends are there and the is a garage that speaks fluent English and has a lot of experience with Mercedes vans. "Okay" he said.
His manager didn't agree. I called my 'helpful' friends at ANWB for the 3rd time today. I explained the situation and asked them to mediate a bit, because they are in contact with the roadside assistance partner in Portugal.
The ANWB asked me if I didn't learn Portuguese, and he was serious. I asked since when we need to learn the language of the countries we visit on holiday?
"You know that they don't speak English in Portugal, so don't think that the roadside assistance speaks English."
Seriously?! But you guys know my problem and need te help and mediate. When you are in contact with your Portuguese colleagues, you don't speak Portuguese right? Well, they towed me to the nearest garage, that's in the terms. Although they didn't contact the garage to inform them. The mechanic got mad when we arrived and waved at the Brazilian towing guy to go away. They started to have an argument. Also at this garage nobody speaks any English. I called ANWB again...
I asked them to mediate in this. I explained communication for me with this garage was not possible and that the garage didn't want us here. I asked to think about my other garage option again, because otherwise they might have to arrange a replacement vehicle and a hotel (a term in the contract when a car can't be fixed within 48 hours). They would internally discuss and call me back immediately.
Nobody called me back, The towing guy got a call from his manager and he was unloading my van to leave it there. I tried to call several people that speak Portuguese and English. My new friend from yesterday just woke up and helped me out with the towing guy. The guy was hungry and wanted lunch, he was leaving because he did what he had to do: bring me to the nearest garage.
So I am in a little town called Torres Novas. I don't no anyone around this town and nobody speaks English in the garage. My translating friend was busy again. I used Google Translate to ask the mechanics again when they have time to diagnose the car. Earliest after 6 days! Once again a phone call to my 'helpful' friends at ANWB...
"Yeah I see my colleague is busy with your case, he will call you back ASAP".
Maybe I don't understand people in my own language anymore? The last 3 calls I was told they would call me back ASAP. I don't know if they use a different dictionary at ANWB. After 2 days still nobody called me back or contacted me in any other way...
These guys fuck it up again. I am paying more than 2,000 euro's a year for this?? Most complete European roadside assistance + all-risk camper insurance. It's foolish to expect anything in this case right?
Today should not be too bad
I started to wander around and found a regular house with a little garage in the back. A young mechanic was busy. He didn't speak English, but some old funny guys with hardly any teeth did pretty well. We had a lot of fun, making jokes and talked about the issues of the van. The guy connected the computer to see if there were any error-messages. There were a few, about the issues I already knew (backlight, but his is working. ESP, but work when you restart. Glow plug needs to be replaced). We checked the Air Mass Meter, this was also not the issue. I invited them for a test drive and I noticed a sizzling noise when there was a certain amount of power requested. It sounded like a leaking hose or something. It was hilarious, there might be an issue with the fuel and a leaking hose and the guys were under the car and above the engine while smoking a sigaret 🤣🤣 Although I learned that diesel isn't flammable under a certain temperature...so all good. It is almost weekend, they can't help me before next week. These people were so helpful and friendly...quite a few funny characters though. I am happy that this whole experience got a positive twist.
I contacted the garage I wanted to visit 140km ahead and I will get there somewhere the coming days. Arranged by myself, it will be a lot easier.
I contacted some Dutch friends 30 minutes away from this place and managed to get there. We had a few bottles of wine and it was good to see them again. Am I drunk? During my break at the toilet I noticed 2 dino's having sex on a scale...
I will check my body weight tomorrow when they are done having fun. Today should frustrate me a lot, but it didn't. Just don't expect any help from companies where you pay a lot of money for their service. I am happy to have random unexpected meetings with people that really like to help you out. Make jokes and laugh about these situations. In the end you will always find a solution.
I almost forgot...in the heat of the moment when frustrations kicked in a bit, I decided to buy a piece of land in Portugal and called my contact to start the process. Better spend my money on something else than insurance.
