It's exactly at that moment, as the struggle seems to have reached it's boiling point, when my creative gears really start churning and the best insights appear out of nowhere, as if they were a refreshing bottle of Punica in a seemingly neverending desert landscape. Oh so sweet!
a metaphor that probably few people get, except those of you who saw Punica commercials in Europe, back in the late 80s/ early 90s. I believe Punica was a German drink, not to be confused with Oasis.
What started out as a rough day - I woke up exhausted, after a broken night and felt pretty down, hours later I stressed out over a bureaucratic issue with the electricity company and as an added bonus ( probably still due to quitting coffee, as described in Hypersensitivosaurus going Cold Turkey - Again ), I got into overthinking and overcomplicating mode and felt kind of depressed and sorry for myself - all of a sudden, turned 360 degrees ( possibly because I asked for help and solved the issue with the electricity company ) and then decided to join a Co-creation video call with 
I mentioned in my last two posts ( and podcast episodes ) that it's all about baby steps and, eventhough I am a master at postponing everything that I don't feel like doing, so I can then overthink it and make it BIGGER and get more anxious and so on and so forth, I decided to take these little steps, today.
the little steps did their work
and turned this into one of those special 'breakthrough' days.
A day where you want to scream EUREKA! as if you've just invented the light bulb and learnt the meaning of the word eureka and want to look smart in front of others who probably know the meaning of that exact word.
During the Co-creation sessions, I did my usual therapy talking and listened to the others. We all talked about what we were creating and I felt kind of like I was the one failing at creating ( once again ) and then... near the end of it all, I suddenly realized that I should just take the illustrations out of my upcoming book.
As it's exactly those that are crippling me and making me stand still and reverse and regurgitate and postpone and not continue finishing my book.
The same pretty much happened with my previous book, February last year. I managed to print a book with illustrations, but I didn't feel satisfied with the result. I felt it was mainly the illustrations that were the problem, they weren't balanced enough ( made in different styles and with different tools and products, over the years ). So I decided that I needed to do better and would make a second print with different illustrations ( and using a different technique: lino carving ). I got close to 20 ( out of 22 ) lino carvings and illustrations, but that book never got made and I don't plan to ever finish it, in all honesty.
It was good enough back then, a time stamp of the me from over a year ago.
Back to my current book, that I actually started on about 2 years ago ( before I decided on creating that other book instead ): Hypersensitivosaurus and Cold Turkey.
I decided not to add any illustrations.
Probably one illustration on the cover.
Possibly 2 different prints with different covers.
I'll think about that.
No worries, I still want to do something with the illustrations that I've made so far for Hypersensitivosaurus and Cold Turkey. They just won't make it into my book.
My writing is very visual. I want to let people decide for themselves what they see in it, like I did back in the days when I started devouring books as a kid.
And those who love my art or those who like the story so much that they want to get their hands on it, for you I will find a way to get hold of some of my sketchies/ illustrations and possibly even create some merchandise, decorated with hypersensitivosaurus and cold turkey.
Now who doesn't want to drink hot tea or coffee from a cold turkey mug or chill with a big bowl of noodles with a drawing of hypersensitivosaurus on it.
Okay, I'm rambling now.
Signing off.
More of the same and more of some other stuff can also be listened to in the latest episode of my podcast:
