Comparison and competition. Two characteristics that have been given a unwarranted value and attention ways to find fuel/drive to push ourselves forward and to execute projects. Its a general idea that we become spurred when the competition increase and that we grow and evolve through comparing ourselves with others. The reality is that comparison and competition are distractions – experiences that hinder us from accessing our own unique and individual drive/decision to do/move/act. I have personally never been able to engage myself using fear of loss, which is the primary emotional force that drives people to excel in competitions. For me, I have needed calm and a unconditional stability – when my environment has been set up in this way – I have been able to create/produce the best.
Looking deeper into comparison and competition it makes sense that these two energies does not support growth. Comparison and competition places the focus OUTSIDE of ourselves. We have to focus on what someone else is doing, focus on our position, or the way we express ourselves, relative to someone else – hence – a split-personality is created. It is thus inevitable that we cannot place our complete and unwavering attention ONLY on what is here before us. That will cause us to express a lesser version of ourselves. Furthermore, when our focus is on making sure that we win, it is very easy to compromise and forget our own individual expression. Because, it might be that 'winning' requires us to give up on what we enjoy about that particular activity, and thus, we sacrifice our soul to make sure that we win.
Instead, the best kind of drive that can be found/established is to define and harness our own personal enjoyment/expansion/relationship with the particular activity/project we are participating within.
For example, with me while I was still studying, my main reason, that I kept within me and held unto, as I pushed through resistances, was that I enjoyed discovering and expanding myself and my understanding of society/the world system. For me it was not about having the 'best marks' – what was important was the process, the movement, the unfolding process that I was walking. And because of my starting point, I was not discouraged when I experienced set backs or when I faced challenges. My priority was LEARNING and EXPANDING – and because I approached my studies this way – I was able to receive the best marks – even though that was not the goal in itself – the reason: I put in focused effort and attention for extended periods of time.
While self-motivated movement supports expansion and growth – comparison and competition supports a harsh and ruthless inner world where only results matter, and where the results are measured against the results of others. The process, the physical movements in themselves, are not given any value. The consequence of this is that we start to loose touch with ourselves, our core so to speak. This might also be why so many have difficulties to retain their original joy and pleasure in a professional skill that was initially nurtured in the form of a hobby. Because in the professional world, the world of money, what is forced upon the participants is a result-oriented and competitive mindset. And to survive in the money world, it is required to focus on the results – however – that does not mean that we have to accept and allow everything about ourselves to be taken over by the efficiency-mindset – and neither does it mean that we have to fuel ourselves using energies coming from comparison and competition.
Though I would not completely disregard comparison and competition. Because comparison can be changed into INSPIRATION. Where we, instead of trying to measure ourselves relative to another, we look at what we enjoy, like, see is good about another, and we take that skill/ability/approach and integrate it into our own life. Allowing ourselves to become inspired adds more colors to our self-creation pallet. Each one of us have our own unique strengths, and if we allow ourselves to be open and recognize those in others, we can through practice and imitation start adding them to our own.
As for competition, this can be changed into self-competition – where we continuously push ourselves to move our boundaries as to what we think we are capable of forward. Otherwise, it is easy to stagnate. When we are 'pretty' good at something, it feels nice to relax and let go for a moment. Though, if we want to really expand our relationship with a certain skill/project we cannot stop there – and we have to move beyond the plateaus, and those are inevitable. If we constantly compete with ourselves, that is a concrete way to avoid undue self-satisfaction – and instead keep moving towards achieving our best and highest potential.
To summarize: Comparison and competition are both destructive patterns – however they can be transformed into supportive and self-nurturing habits. It takes a bit of self-will and application – though through consistent movement and through utilizing the tools of self-forgiveness, self-commitment statements and writing – it is most definitely possible.
Investigate Desteni (http://www.desteni.org/) for more information on the application of mentioned tools.
