I had my kid when I was 31 years old so by this time, I already graduated from law school and burn all the stages of early 20s where you want to go out to late hours of the night (tho this wasn’t really my thing I was never one to go out much). So, by the time I decided to get pregnant I felt prepare for the things to come when you have a child. But this doesn’t mean you are fully aware of how much you will be constricted to the kid schedule and needs that will make your own nonexistent.
Now here is the thing when he was a baby, I felt really overwhelmed by how much he needed me, obviously all babies need their moms but not all babies are the same and some can expend even a few minutes if not hours alone in their cribs, chairs or any other place. But my kid nooooo he wanted my undivided attention 24/7, I had to be holding him or breastfeeding him all the time, he couldn’t lay still in his crib for a few minutes without crying bloody murder for me to pick him up, and I'm going to be real I was not going to “just let him cry it out” nope that is not me.
If you want to, you can judge me, I do not care, Screen time is a tool parents have that can be abuse yes, but that is sooooo helpful when you just need something to entertain the un-entertainable children, this is something I tried to use when the kid was getting older, and even tho he did liked some cartoons specially the musical ones, the TV or tablet didn’t work on him for too long.
Now as he is 4 years old, I have to say, I am much stricter on screen time, he obviously understands better, and likes more shows and videos on youtube and such. So, the once tool that didn’t work with him as a baby does work with him as a preschooler, but if I let it, it can become an obsession, so we don’t use it as much.
Now that he is older, I figure I needed to get him out of the house he is technically a pandemic baby since he expended his toddler years in quarantine lock in the house, and he is an only child, physical activities are important and all that stuff, so we find him the sport that he loves the most.
Swimming, now here is the thing, when you finally find something for your kid to do and you can finally let him be independent and don’t need to be the whole time carrying him… but he is still dependent on you for taking him there and look after him because he is too young and the world is too crazy to just let him on his own, this means you have to be there the whole time on the stands yes, away from him yes, but not enough so that you can go on do your stuff, 🙃 this is just means you have now more stuff to do and less time to do them.
We tried baseball and that was boring he didn’t enjoyed much not that he didn’t like it but was mostly the bored he got during practice, we also tried football (soccer for you North Americans) at the beginning but he didn’t seem to really love it, he is now in a stage where he can actually pick the sport he likes the most himself and well he decided he wants to go back to football but not leave swimming, he wants to do both.
I don’t think so, to be a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) you need to stay at home and I'm half the day away from home and not for work or to do my own stuff but to take the kid to all his extracurricular activities, it doesn’t help that all the stuff he does are miles away from our home, i have to get up in the mornings to do breakfast for him and his dad, I got after they are gone I have morning to try and do all that I should do but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed I just do nothing unless my ADHD hyper focus decides to show up and I can build a whole new house in just a few hours.
At noon I have to go pick him up, he studies in the city next to ours so, that means we can take even 1 hour to get back to the house, once we get to the house, we have to change him to go to his swimming team, after swimming we go back to the house to eat lunch (yes, we have a late lunch) then off we go to try the whole football thing again, by the time we are back in the house is already 6.30pm.
Now you may think well at night you can finally have time to yourself and your stuff, and nope that is not the case, and don’t get me wrong I don’t regretted one bit, but we are co-sleeping since he was born and is wonderful, but this means I need to go to bed with him at 8pm to put him to sleep cause he doesn’t sleep on his own yet, now sometimes I do my best to stay up and as soon as he is sleep I can do my own stuff, but most days I'm so tired I just ended up falling sleep too LOL.
Co-sleeping was a main issue I resented last year in a big way, you see last year took place the Caracas Blockchain Week, where almost all the Venezuelan
Hivers made presence, I wanted to go so badly, but this kid still doesn’t sleep without me, his dad works office hours, and that would me I would have to take him with me across the country him missing classes and his activities for me to go to this event, adding to all that I would have to actually take him with me to the whole event cause I wouldn’t have anyone to leave him with , in Caracas, so this whole logistically didn’t make sense and I ended up not going I was leaving the FOMO so badly it was sad actually.
I knew what becoming a mom would mean and I don’t regret but missing out on time for myself and my own stuff for some basic stuff actually, is something that I still struggle with, I know as he gets older he will need me less and less and I will miss this times I do know that but still that doesn’t make me feel better right now on the things I'm limited to do and try cause I have this little human depending on me 24/7.
Now, as soon as I learned this edition of Hive Fest was happening on this side of the world I was so excited! and I immediately started thinking of ways to make it happen, I started really positive, with the illusion and hope really high... Now... Now not so much, why? cause of my Kid, like is not his fault but I can't travel without him, like there is no way I will be leaving the country on a trip that is essentially a vacation on the beach and my Kid is not coming with me, I know a lot of moms would love to travel without their kids and probably I will too at some point when he is older, but right now, I can't even think about no taking him with me, and well, if a solo trip for me would be expensive adding a kid to the mix would make it all more expensive.
I still don't lose hope that I can finally get a job that will make all the trips possible and that is why I'm actively searching for it.
As always, thank you for reading me, would love to read about your own experience on this, so please leave a comment or better yet, make a post in The Motherhood Community.
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