People struggle with different things, some in other languages, others with mathematics, and so do I, but when it comes to the hardest things I ever had to learn, it's worth noting that that isn't from any school subjects, nor was it from a practical skill; it was the act of letting go and accepting that I can't control everything or make them go the way I want no matter how hard I try, and this has taught me that sometimes the hardest lessons tend to lead to the deepest freedom. Below, I extensively talk about why what I stated above was the hardest for me and how I overcame it.
Why letting go was the hardest thing I learned was because when I got betrayed, I tended to hold on, which led to me trying to fix things that weren't even mine to fix in the first place. It's disheartening seeing how I offered help when I myself barely had enough or when I gave people a second chance, a third, or even more, and yet they still abused it. Rather than move on in such situations, you'll mostly see me wondering, "What did I do wrong?" Especially in times when my kindness gets taken for granted or those relationships crash, things I did are just ridiculous.
At the end of the day I end up being drained mentally, emotionally and even financially, despite that, it was still a difficult circle to break because letting go felt like giving up, and setting boundaries seems like in being selfish, however deep within, I know this would keep costing me if I don't learn this emotional skill.
My thought was that it's a phase that I'll grow out of as life matures me, but I was wrong, because life literally placed me in a situation where I'm forced to confront my weakness head-on. I had to learn this lesson through my relationships with people I genuinely loved, deeply trusted, and wholeheartedly helped, who went on to never reciprocate in the manner I expected. It's not like I actually wanted something back in return for all I did, but a little act reciprocation can go a long way.
Over time, I've become intentional about learning and knowing when to let go, although slowly and painfully, but the good thing is that I stopped chasing after people who made me feel like I was asking too much by requesting the bare minimum, such as respect, effort, honesty, and the like. That's how I became bold and stopped apologizing for choosing peace of mind over people-pleasing. Like I said earlier, this went at a slow pace, but then it was worth it, especially given the fact that I at one point spent 6 years holding on to something I should have let go a long time ago.
Responding to the question that asked if it was easy? In all honesty, it was anything but easy, because it felt like a direct opposite of everything I believed about support and relationships. Despite not being easy, with time I've been mastering it, although I won't say I'm perfect at it. Still, the results are now visible because I now think twice before I act, pause before I give, and overall I prioritize my well-being first without shame of what people would say.
Although this wasn't related to a course I studied in school or a skill I tried to acquire, it was by far one of the hardest things I've ever learned, and fast forward to the present day, and I'm not ashamed to share my experience, because I now wear it like a badge of honor to showcase growth.
All photos are mine.
