I love sleeping, not only for the fact of succumbing to a need of the body when it asks for rest, but the fact of being asleep I like it.

Just a couple of days ago, I woke up feeling totally rested, it rarely happens to me, I tend to be in an almost constant state of sleep. That day I wondered what would have happened if I had not woken up any more, would I have felt as placid or insensitive as I did when I was asleep?

Sometimes, I remember myself with nostalgia, many predicted a promising future for me when I was just a child.

I have seen many of my dreams vanish in front of my eyes, maybe that's why I love being asleep so much. Sometimes, what I see hurts and also what I don't see.

In spite of everything, I would not like to go back in my life and fix some things, I like to go forward in favor of the nature of life.

Part of me believes that life is about making decisions, another part of me believes that life often decides for us before we even ask.

If I died today, I don't think I would have lived my best life, if I died today I would only cling to life for the sake of not seeing my mother suffer, just for that.

But, even though I haven't lived my best life so far, I still laugh and I'm dusting off dreams, today I worked in the bakery of an acquaintance and I laughed with some customers, I joked with several to make the moment more pleasant for them and for me, I held a baby and she smiled at me, it was a nice moment. A customer gave me a soft drink as a gift and I spoke to my mother on the phone, I promised her that I would visit her soon, I really want to see her.

I say all this because, without a doubt, life is pleasant, of course it is, but it has been hard for me to find that super wow part of it. Maybe I need to live more, or change the focus, or make other decisions, walk other paths.

There has to be something much more than this, I know it, I feel it, however, I still can't find it.

I don't believe that death is the end, I believe that we are infinite, that death is another dimension, a portal to a world full of magic as magic is life itself.

Until the next time.

_{This writing is inspired by Hive account@galenkp's proposal for this weekend.}

_{Photos from my personal gallery}