So as many of you (my loyal followers) know I have had what most would describe as a brutally hard life. Even as an adult I have worked for over 30 years and every time things start to look up for me mother nature says "not so fast asshole" and bitch slaps me back "into the gutter". You will also know that I am not one to give up or let adversity slow me down.
However, I have never felt like I "fit in" to society or any standard molds of "humanity". Lately, the cheer stupidity that seems to have infected virtually the entirety of humanity has really started weighing on me. Not because I think I can fix it, but because I know I can't. Even more than that I know my ability to "fit in" wanes with every day as humanity gets more and more stupid.
I feel the need to clarify something here. There is a massive difference between ignorance and stupidity. Ignorant people do not know any better and therefore have no control of their actions that are not in line with what society says they should be. Stupidity is when you know better, but for whatever reason you choose to say "fuck what I should do".
I make that distinction because it has recently come to my attention that I am no longer immune to "stupidity" myself. I find myself on a daily basis saying "fuck society or what they think" which more times than not leads me to do things I know I shouldn't do. I have often found myself wondering why humanity has become so stupid. Then after realizing it was happening to me as well I started doing some serious soul searching trying to figure out why.
By doing so I answered not one, but two questions. Why is humanity turning stupid? Why am I turning stupid? Much to my surprise they have the same answer. This might come as a shock to many of you, others will be like "duh!".
The prevailing theory is that "society has become programmed" by Television, Media, Schools, etc. etc. Well let me tell you nothing could be farther from the truth. In all actuality it is:
"Humanity has become DE-PROGRAMMED by Television, Media, Schools, etc. etc."
Now hear me out for those of you going "what the fuck" right now. We all started out as Hunters and Gatherers. Life was simple. You killed or got killed. You foraged for food or you starved. Then at some point we began to assemble into larger and larger "camps". Now this amassing of people begot new problems which in turn gave birth to language, laws, and the necessity to put people in charge (give them power) of our lives.
The truth is the day the first government was formed we began to get stupid. With every advance in society, culture, law or technology since we have "forgotten" more and more. The sad truth of the matter is we have "deprogrammed ourselves" by becoming dependent on government, technology, etc. We have forgotten how to "survive" how to "live" and how to "thrive" as individuals.
Having realized this, I began looking into ways to "get back in touch" with nature, with surviving, with living off the land and off the grid. That is when I discovered "Subsistence Living". There are only a few hundred people in the United States doing it, largely because the only place where it is completely legal and possible is in Alaska where the climate is beyond brutal. There are far more people in places like Canada and Siberia (Russia) doing it.
The premise is simple, you move into the wilderness, you chop your own firewood for heat and cooking. You hunt, trap, fish and in some cases grow your own vegetables and herbs. Once a year or so you go into town and sale your furs (from trapping), smoked fish, canned vegetables, or whatever else you have to sell to buy the things you need that you can not grow, forage for or kill to eat.
The downside to this "Subsistence Living" is that 99% of people who try it either die or give up in the first year. Why? Because we have forgotten how to survive. I am a perfect example of that. I am 45 years old and have never once been hunting. I have not fucking clue how to fish (to eat), how to forage for edible plants. How to construct a place to live with primitive tools. How to appreciate, respect and live in harmony with Nature.
Which is why for the last few weeks and next few months I will be preparing to move to Alaska and live a "Subsistence Lifestyle". Unlike most who have tried it I am not going half-cocked. I am gonna be prepared. Below are some rough steps I am taking before I even head that way.
Step #1: Fix my Van
Yes the old Ford E150 Conversion van I got from my mom when she passed is still kicking. I have already completely rebuilt the entire braking system on the rear axle and replaced the master cylinder and front brakes and calibers. I still have to replace the Vacuum Booster, Front Rotors and the Tie-Rod ends in the front. Then replace all 5 tires and rims with larger rims and tires that can handle the rugged, snowy, icy terrain of the Arctic. I am also going to strip most of the interior of the van and rig it up with a permanent bed with storage under it running down the driver's side of the van. Between the end of the bed and driver's seat will be a cabinet with several extra batteries underneath it hooked to the alternator and an inverter. Those will be to power a small heater, cook, etc. The van will be completely rigged as an emergency survival camper as well as my sole means of transportation to Alaska and to town once a year.
Step #2: Enclosed Cargo Trailer/Camper
Once the van is completed I am buying a used Enclosed Cargo trailer with a fold down rear ramp and a side door that can be opened from inside or out. I will then begin converting it to a permanent off-grid residence. In the rear will be a wood burning stove with the exhaust pipe traveling up and through a metal water tank on a rack above it before exhausting through the roof of the trailer. Beside that water tank will be a second "cold water tank". Water lines from those tanks will converge on one side of the trailer and run near the roof from the water tanks to a bathtub/shower and on through a partial wall into the main cabin where the sink and toilet are located. All my water for cooking, drinking, bathing, doing laundry etc. will come from one or both of those water tanks and be gravity fed to where it is needed.
A small 2-cycle gas water pump along with several hundred feet of water hose will be used to fill the water tanks (once on site in Alaska) from what ever river/creek I sat up came near. Additionally, the camper/trailer will be equipped with roof mounted solar panels and side mounted solar panels (passenger side of trailer). At the front of the trailer attached to the hitch on bottom and front of trailer on side will be a telescoping pole with a small wind turbine that will be placed on top once on site. Guide wires will be attached before pole is sent up and anchored into the ground around the camper/trailer once fully raised. The solar and wind turbine will be connected through a charge controller to a bank of 10 deep cycle batteries located in the front of the camper/trailer underneath my bed.
Attached to the passenger side of the camper near the front will be a second pole that sticks up about 4 feet above the roof that I will attach a DirecWay Satellite dish on once on site so I have internet access to upload nature photography and videos to earn extra income. Also attached to that pole, above the satellite dish will be a Wifi/Cellular repeater (femto cell) so that I have a means to "call for help" if I am away from camp and get hurt. I had planned on getting a Sat Phone but what I would spend in a month on a sat phone (with very limited internet) will pay for an entire year of satellite internet through DirecWay and be more usable and practical.
Step 3: Gear and Equipment
Once the camper/trailer is rigged and ready I will acquire the remainder of the things I will need. Like a snowmobile (loaded into rear of trailer), two chain saws, extra belts and chains, filters, oil, fuel. 4 new (to me) guns including a 22lr pistol (for small birds up close), a 22lr rifle for small birds at a distance, 410 shotgun for small or large birds at a distance as well as other small game. A 553 rifle or AR-15 for larger game like Bear, Moose, Caribou. I will also acquire a large fishing net for catching Salmon in the spring and fall and get it rigged for use. I will acquire a small boat (16' aluminum shallow water hull" and a small (easy to carry) motor for it. and load them in the back of the trailer as well. Once all the equipment is loaded in the side door of the trailer (secured to both the wall and floor with straps) full of Gasoline for the snowmobile, chain saw, water pump, etc. That should be a year supply of fuel. Once on site I will carefully move the barrels of fuel outside the camper and secure them to the driver side of the trailer with a small electric pump I can use to pump fuel into whatever needs it. I will also take 5-10 gas cans of varying sizes for mixed fuel for the water pump and chain saws as well as straight fuel for the snowmobile and boat motor. I will carry a couple extra batteries for the snowmobile as well as extra belts and parts. I will have a small sled (i can pull by hand or behind snowmobile) also and it will be in the front of the camper/trailer until I get to camp site. I am also going to take a year supply of toiletries, dried foods (nuts, jerky, rice, etc.) and a small generator which will stay in the van at all times (unless needed). I will also carry a complete Metal Tube Frame (think portable garage) and the materials I need to cover it in plastic and frame in the ends with a solid wall on one end and a door on the other end to use as a greenhouse. I will also take a backpack, portable wood stove, sleeping back, small tent (with exhaust hole for small wood stove) and everything I need to setup a temporary camp for when I am out hunting/trapping/fishing and can't/won't make it back to main camp before dark. I am taking my drone and Canon Digital camera with me and hope to get a couple 1080p WiFi enabled trail cams to take with me as well so I can place them in the areas I think will be good for hunting/trapping and and see when/where to go and set traps or hunt. Speaking of traps I am going to acquire 10 Conibear 330 instant kill body traps and all the wire and fittings I need to make 20-30 Instant Kill Snares.
I have already acquired a small "day pack" and loaded it will an assortment of tools, knives, compass, emergency whistle, small first aid kit, wire chain saw, combo hatchet/knife/saw and a few other "emergency" items. I have as well a larger First Aid kit which will stay in my main cabin.
My Intent: Long term plan
First Year - I am taking everything I need to survive and thrive for the first year with me. This is to give me time to "learn" to hunt, fish, trap and hopefully make some money from my photography and videos and stories I upload. All my bills will be paid for 13 months before I head to Alaska as well.
Second Year - I am hoping that after the first year I have made enough money from Trapping/Fishing and my Writing/Photography/Videos to buy a portable saw mill when I go to town after the first year as well as the supplies I need to make it through the second year. Once I acquire the saw mill I will spend all free time of the second year acquiring all the wood I need and sawing it up into the right sizes to build a permanent Cabin (at my main site) during the Third Year.
Third Year - Build permanent cabin on main site using materials sawed and acquired during second year. Then move Camper/Trailer to secondary camp site to use as a more permanent hunting/fishing/trapping site during the dark winter months when there is only a few hours a day of light.
Fourth Year - Replace/Upgrade/Repair all equipment. Like Solar and Wind Power Systems, chain saws, snowmobile, etc. Acquire a second camper/trailer and rig it up and place it a temporary camp site the opposite direction from main camp as the other one. This will expand my hunting/fishing/trapping area, especially in the dark winter months.
Fifth Year - Acquire my licenses to be an Official Hunting/Fishing guide in Alaska. Build a larger "Guest Cabin" at main camp site. Build Game Processing, storage and smoking facilities at main camp site.
Sixth Year - Acquire 2 more snowmobiles, upgrade solar/wind power at main camp site to accommodate new Guest Cabin and begin taking Paying Customers who want to learn to Hunt/Fish in Alaska or just want a guide to the best places to do it.
Seventh Year - Build Guest Cabin(s) at Secondary and Tertiary Camp Sites. Buy 2 more boats (to have at alternate camp sites).
Eighth Year - Build massive fish wheel to catch salmon and sink 4-6 large poles into the river that the fish wheel will sit between and connect to. I want to be able to raise the fish wheel out of the water and above the ice flow (during spring thaw) instead of having to remove it from the river and place it back in the river 4 times a year.
Ninth Year - Build two smaller portable fish wheels that can easily be moved by water or ice using boat or snowmobile to Secondary and Tertiary Camp Sites.
Tenth Year - Build workshop/aircraft hanger at main camp site and acquire my small aircraft license as well as a small 2-4 passenger plane rigged with floats/wheels for summer/fall and convertible to ski's for winter/spring.
Eleventh through Twentieth Years - Stock away as much cash, supplies, foods, firewood as possible for when I am no longer able to do everything I need to so that I can live out the remainder of my days with out starving, freezing or working like a fucking idiot when I should be relaxing in my cabin drinking rum and watching gay midget donkey porn all day.
Stupid Shit I Think About While Driving - Episode 2venuspcs ·
