In a small room is where we find “Guttertrash” Greg Adkins. We see him from the chest up, but we’re pretty sure that he’s naked though. Greg looks around the room that is also filled with men. We see them from the chest up, but we’re pretty sure that they are also naked.
Greg Adkins: I’ve been back for a couple of events with the AWF and they have no idea how to use me. I’m so shocked that I’m in a multi-man match at a pay-per-view. Does management know what to do with me? Is Terry Bradshaw still getting my dick pics? Yes to the last. I get read receipts.
The men look at Greg as if they are waiting for something. No one says anything, though they all give expectant looks at Greg.
Greg Adkins: So, gentlemen. Are we using lube? If we’re using lube, I hope that we all followed the agreement to use scent-free lube so the place doesn’t become filled with different conflicting smells. Sound good?
Most of the men in the group nod their heads as if this were a perfectly normal thing to ask. A few of them raise tubes of lube. Greg gets out his own small bottle of lube and puts some on his hands to get them all lubricated.
Greg Adkins: As I might have mentioned, I’m in a multi-man match. It’s going to be scored by the number of falls you can get within a certain amount of time. The more times you pin someone else or get them to submit, the better of a title shot you can earn. I don’t remember how many falls I need to make before I can get another crack at Keith Williams. I might as well fucking score all of the fucking falls. Shall we get into position?
Most of the naked men around Greg nod their heads and gather into a circle in the room. More of them begin putting lubrication on their hands.
Greg Adkins: Now, remember. Reach to the left just like you were passing a joint to the person next to you, but just reach for their dick and make him feel good while the person to your right has hold of you. It’s pretty simple math.
The group of men in the circle tighten up the group. We cannot see what they are doing with their left arms, but we are pretty sure that they are grabbing the dick to the left of them and stroking it. Some more fiercely than others by the look on faces and the measured movements of their upper arms. Greg smiles as he (probably since we can’t see it) feels the man to the right of him stroking his hard dick while at the same time, he strokes the man to the left of him.
Greg Adkins: That’s good. That’s good. Keep it going at that pace and you’ll have the Oh Fairies here in no time at all.
Yep. He said Oh Fairies as in a sweet, mythical faerie that comes to a man while he’s cumming to help send him on his way. Madness.
Greg Adkins: Oh, I should probably talk about the match that I’m actually going to attend. Like I said, it’s a multi-man match with various falls to determine who will win what titles shots based on the numbers of falls scored in the match. Well, I guess that they aren’t all men in this match. This is fine, but for our experiment here, we’re going with all men. Ahhh, yes. That is some amazing work there...guy to the right of me.
Greg closes his eyes, momentarily overcome with pleasure. He’s nudged back to reality by the guy to the left of him from when he stops stroking. He comes back to the present, continuing his work with a smile.
Greg Adkins: This brings us to at least some of our opponents. Xiaolong. We’ve faced each other so many times that I might even remember your fucking name. I mean, I might remember your style of wrestling. Do you remember mine? I’ll bet that you do remember what I was before. I bet I threw you off a little with my debut match when I was just a tiny bit more serious about the art than I was before. A tiny bit. I think you’ll be my main target of the night, you know. I’ll have you on your back more times than Dakota Jennings from when she was with that Cross fella.
Greg lets out a great shuddering sigh as he and most of the group all fire at once with the others following in quick succession. Now while we don’t see what’s firing, it does look like a perverse fountain as gouts of off-white liquid flies into the air from all around the group. Gross.
Greg Adkins: Since we’re going in order, might as well address the next in line in the form of Copycat. Dude, you’re probably the only other person in the entire world to have seen Terry Bradshaw’s penis more than myself. You know that whenever I send him a dick pic that he sends me two back? Such a majestic eagle in the silver nest. Makes me proud to be an American. Copycat, I know you aren't the best wrestler in the world. I have heard that you might tap out if someone looked at you hard enough from all of the abuse that Terry Bradshaw has put you through in your time together. I’ll have you on your back quicker than Xiaolong roaring through at least half of his moves.
Greg looks around with a smile.
Greg Adkins: Did I mention the last one to ejaculate has to be the one to get the mop and bucket to clean this mess?
There’s a few chuckles from the crowd, excepting the one guy who was last to cum. He groans in misery as he walks over to the corner of the room to get the mop and bucket to begin cleaning the landscape of man seed.
Greg Adkins: Carlos Ruiz. I guess you must have come into the AWF while I was recovering from both my injuries inflicted by Eric Dane and being blackballed from the industry for being me. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that you might want to pass on the pre-match handshake. Unless you like sticky hands and skin contact drugs. If you enjoy these things, then by all means. My hand will be freshly stickies and drugged. You might not enjoy the high, but for me, it’s kind of normal. I would be happy to go out with you for a few drinks after the match though. That is if you can still look me in the eyes after we meet in the ring.
Greg Adkins steps back as one of the other guys slips on some baby pudding and falls to the floor. He laughs as the guy slowly gets up, covered in baby batter.
Greg Adkins: You look like you might need a tongue bath to get cleaned up. Any takers?
Greg doesn’t move in time as several guys move into place to lick the guy clean of the coating of man gravy. Greg just laughs alongside the guy, who is laughing from being licked by so many tongues at once.
Greg Adkins: Kallie Reznik. I can’t say that I’ve rightly heard of you. I mean, are you new to the company? Is this your first match? I mean I would think that a good wrestling company would want to put you in a one-on-one situation to kind of give you a leg up when entering into the ring for the first time for them to kind of showcase your abilities, but this is the AWF. The King of Underutilization. So a multi-person match is where you might have just found yourself outmatched and overwhelmed by the other talents in this match. If I were you, I would go for Copycat or Xiaolong. Those two will get you the most falls in this type of match. Hell, I think I might have to defend them so that I can horn in on the falling action so y’all don’t bring them down more times than me.
Greg sits down in a chair and begins to redress himself. He goes slowly, spending more time watching some of the other men in the group redress themselves with a sort of longing in his eyes.
Greg Adkins: I guess this brings us to the main threat of the night, right? At least this is what we would be told to believe. The woman who has been in and out of the AWF more than myself. The winner of last year’s End of Days tournament. Dakota Jennings. You went through a lot of fire and shit to become the winner of that tournament. Pity that it seems to have broken your mind as it was a harrowing experience to have had to have defeated Pepe Morales in that match. Will I get to face the Dakota Jennings that can defy all odds to become a winner or will I meet the broken Dakota Jennings in the ring that doesn’t even know what company she wants to be working for, if at all?
Greg finishes getting dressed and pulls a joint and a lighter out of his pocket. He sits back down in the chair and lights the joint, taking a long hit from it. He passes the joint to the immediate left where another dressed man is.
Greg Adkins: Am I really going down the list of opponents to talk about each of them in turn? Yes, Jitterman. I am. So, it looks like you also came into play while I was banished from the AWF for my...indiscretions. So, you’re something of a monster. Big fucking deal. I slay monsters.
Greg lets that hang in the air for a long silent moment before laughing.
Greg Adkins: Okay. I’m not going to lie. Monsters scare the fuck out of me. I mean monsters were in and out of my momma’s house for a long time. Wait, what? (One of the other men in the group says something that we can’t make out.) Oh! Right. Suitors, monsters. Kind of all the same to me. My momma was a saint until she met my daddy. Then, she kind of became a crack whore. I mean, she still is kind of a crack whore. She even cranked my cracker once or twice for a little taste of crack.
Greg blinks and shakes his head.
Greg Adkins: I probably shouldn’t have said that. Anyway, Jitterman. You are a monster and that sort of sucks. We have a monster slayer on the team in the form of Dakota Jennings. I mean, II suppose she isn’t really on my team, but I’m sure she will go for the biggest threat in the game. That’s you. You’re the biggest threat that’s going to be in the ring coming up. Dakota Jennings versus the Jitterman is going to be tight! Not as tight if I get the chance to stick a finger in her pink, puckered bunghole.
The joint makes it back to Greg, though there isn't much left. Greg takes out a roach clip, puts the joint on it, and takes a mighty hit from it before passing it to the left again.
Greg Adkins: This brings us to the final participant in the form of Jordan Cassidy. I think you are a hero of the federation. Always lifting others in the self-sacrifice of your own glory. I think you have been here longer than almost anyone else. Do you even have a win to your name? I thought that Copycat was going to be on his back a lot. You might take the cake there, fella. I mean it sucks to be you to have to be the one always losing. I wonder if you would even be able to defeat Copycat in a one-on-one situation? I kind of doubt it. Copycat is hungry. I mean literally hungry. I don’t think Terry Bradshaw feeds him.
Greg gets back his empty roach clip, puts it into his pocket, and leaves the room.
