The popular saying "Big Boys Don't Cry" is just an unrealistic societal standard that has made many men suffer silently , depressed, addicted to alcohol and hard drugs.
This belief has made these men embrace many other harmful coping mechanisms just to hide their weakness and vulnerability to the world, meanwhile they are emotionally down, mentally drained and need to communicate their feelings .
The ability to express yourself and show your weaknesses as a man should be normal, there's no reason to be ashamed of a natural response to pain.
This idea of "Real Men Don't Cry " keeps passing down from fathers to sons, the media keep bashing men for being expressive in difficult times .
We have all forgotten that crying is a natural response to pain and it's therapeutic to cry out when the burden is heavy and that's just a natural among humans .
As humans, being expressive and vocal about how we feel, our challenges and obstacles are extremely therapeutic , it's a relief that builds emotional and mental strength , it encourages us to keep fighting and staying persistent. Being expressive about pain and weaknesses isn't exclusive to one gender, but both genders.
So, encouraging men to be more expressive and vocal about their weaknesses, feelings and pain doesn't make them less, it's a natural response to pain, showing their weakness or crying doesn't make them, irresponsible or weak.
When a man cry it only means he's in search of a solution, it means he feels overwhelmed and heavy, his heart and mind is heavy and he just needs comfort, support and consolation in a safe arm , he needs someone to speak to and that's natural, there's no shame in embracing your emotions and being vulnerable, it's totally fine.
A man shouldn't be judged for showing his weakness, that's how both genders are meant to respond to pain, there's no need shaming men for embracing their emotional side and seeking emotional support.
Being vocal , expressing yourself, seeking emotional support as a man, also make it easier for the younger boys, it's important to make our male children and siblings to understand that it's okay to seek for emotional support in a safe space and not carry silent weight, this will prevent them from being pressured or victims of the unrealistic standards our society is currently building.
Due to societal expectations, we keep building a society where men choose to silence instead of expressing themselves and we all assume silence is their strength.
This keeps happening because they learnt from their father's that a real man shouldn't cry, their mother's challenged them to be men even when they are in distress and all their lives they saw their father's bottle up emotions just to show they are real men and that's wrong.
This should be corrected, we should teach and encourage our sons, brothers, male friends and partners to be vocal and expressive when they are tired, they should learn to seek help when they are overwhelmed and also feel safe expressing themselves and not judged.
This will really help in raising generations of men that will be emotionally sound, mentally strong, men that communicate without fear and feel accepted always.
I haven't watched a man cry before, but I observe and read moods fast, so I can tell when one is drained and needs support.
If I ever watch a full grown man cry it will break me, I might even cry with him, because that's rare.
If I find myself in a situation like this, first I will hide my emotions, make him feel comfortable,then if he feels comfortable enough to tell me why he's crying, I will listen to him because I know how difficult it is for a man to cry out, no interruption, no judgement.
I will try as much as I can to not panic or make him uncomfortable opening up his feelings.
Then I will make him understand that whatever the issue is can be fixed, support him as much as I can and make sure I keep it a secret that he cried.
In a world that demands more from men, we should build a safe place for them and make them understand that vulnerability isn't a sign of weakness, it okay to be vulnerable and cry out your pains as a man and also being vulnerable or crying doesn't mean you lost your strength, respect or dignity, it makes you stronger.
