There have been times and moments in my life when I feel a very strong nudge about a particular path I'm about to take, it could be a new friendship, a job or an opportunity. Most of the times, my instinct come as a sign to step back, it could be a warning to take caution or even go ahead with a decision. Looking back today, I'm grateful for such feelings, because they have saved me from situations and guided me in decisions I have made in life.
My instinct can be wrong. I'm human, and it's very normal. I get the wrong instinct about people occasionally. And I have to leanrnt to know people and embrace new things and people regardless of how I feel at first. I feel it's fair enough to allow time and consistent behavior reveal the truth about people, instead of following an instinct that might be inaccurate and also coming from a place of experience and fear.
Most times, our instincts turn out to be accurate and that's good. No doubt first impressions about a person can be very useful, but not accurate.
With the right instincts, we just get to find a way to be cautious around a person or environment. But our instincts alone doesn't give evidence that a person is bad. We still have to allow time and consistent behavior of a person to reveal their personality.
I strongly believe that our instincts are mostly shaped by experience and lessons we learned from our past situations.
Our instincts is like our emotions, there are just feelings, feelings that might be wrong.
Most times, people mistake their feelings for instinct.
Our instincts are usually influenced by our emotions, traumatic experiences, prejudice and thoughts. They are mostly incorrect. Our instincts aren't always wisdom or intelligence, as most people tend to boostful about.
Also, when I realize that my instinct about a person is wrong/ inaccurate, I will apologize wholeheartedly if my instinct about a person hurts them.
Nobody deserves to be judged by what we feel about them or because of our past experience or trauma from others.
When I realize the discomfort and hurt my instinct causes, I apologize and that's the wrong thing to do.
The only time I follow my instinct actively is during the early stages of a friendship or new path, that stage where I need to understand and know a person's personality or begin a journey.
I strongly believe and also feel it's wise and accurate to follow people with wisdom, especially at the beginning/ early stages of a relationship, when trust haven't been built.
The fact about me is that it has always been difficult a for me to be comfortable with new people, especially at the early stages of meeting them. That's why I'm usually very cautious of people during the early stages of any relationship. I believe time and consistent behavior of people reveals more about them, not instinct. Instincts can always be wrong. Most times, our first instinct about a person is even generate from public opinion about certain people due to complexion, tribes, religion and many other influences. The truth is that everyone deserve a fair chance, regardless of what we think about them.
No one deserves a final verdict at first sight, all because of an instinct that might be wrong.
It's wise and necessary to combine instinct with wisdom, logic and evidence. Inasmuch as I still believe instinct shouldn't be the final judgment about a person's personality, for major decisions such as relationships, finances and family, I have learnt to combine my instinct with wisdom to avoid regrets. I don't just neglect the fact that I feel a certain way, but I act with wisdom by observing consistent behavior and attitudes.
A good judgment about people shouldn't only be about our feelings or instinct about them.
In conclusion, my approach when my instinct about a person is bad is to listen to my instincts, respect my instinct, and also verify my instinct. Our instincts as humans can be extremely useful , but we should also apply wisdom while trusting our instincts.
