I appreciate your sincerity and offer to disabuse me of my misunderstanding, which you are certainly welcome to take a shot at. I've considered the matter some, and suspect I may be a tougher nut to crack than you might expect, though.

I also feel stronger and better when I am doing more, and I do think we underutilize ourselves as a rule. I'm pretty sure we're all capable of downright heroic acts, but just neither believe it, nor have much opportunity to do so constructively. It's very easy to misjudge our circumstances, or the motivations and purposes of others, and to take extreme action in such a situation can really be painful in retrospect. Just picking up a hammer or a shovel and pitching in just seems outrageous, in a lot of ways.

I realized that supply and demand are out of balance for me, and I'm overbooked because I'm too cheap. That's the problem with working for goodwill, LOL. I do really appreciate your kind words. I YOLO pretty hard about opportunities I have to do what I think are the right things to do, and I am experienced with regret (for some reason(s). Lately I woke up cringing about not taking my kids fishing enough. Such is fatherhood, LOL), so I don't want to end up some spiritual essence incapable of picking up a shovel or hammer and regretting forever not doing so when I had the chance.

Thanks!