I don't feel welcome here

I suggest you're reacting. I have a background as a biologist, and something that all higher animals do is focus on negatives, because in the wild those danger signals can kill us. But not on Hive, obviously. So you get ~30 upvotes, even when you decline rewards, but all that support is overwhelmed by the one or two downvotes, and this might be because you're only considering the negatives. Back during the flag wars, I made the mistake of trying to get a couple whales to talk to each other instead of just flagging for all they were worth. Well, that didn't work out very well for me, because they both suddenly were in complete agreement with each other - about flagging me into the dust.

I didn't get a satoshi for any post or comment for months. When I make mistakes like that I try to learn from them, and that's why I don't want to get in between you and Hurt, or anyone else. If I step back it's not because I don't think you're a good person, or anything like that. It's just that when people are emotionally charged over an issue sometimes they just lash out, and sometimes everybody just starts flailing about, and I neither want to cause that kinda ruckus nor be the guy getting flailed on.

I hope you do what's best for you, is all I can really say. There are a lot more people upvoting you than downvoting you, so you are a lot more welcome than unwelcome. If you measure your welcome by the person you like the least, how representative is that of the welcome? It's not. So, that's why I thought to recommend you take a few minutes to just relax and get your head out of the focus on the one bad thing you're experiencing and think about all the good things that are coming your way.

Please don't get mad at me for trying to help you have peace and calm. I realize sometimes that can seem utterly insensitive and inappropriate, which is why I shared my experience being flagged into the dust for months by two whales, because I really understand how it feels when it's happening to you. I just hope you do take the time to think about how much more support and people that are good to you than the opposite here, so that you can consider the situation rationally, and not because you're reacting to a danger signal like there's a tiger in the grass, because there isn't a tiger, and you're safe.

The only thing you can really do is try to reach out and talk to people, if they'll talk to you. I'm confident Hurt will, because he already did.

About setting @null as a beneficiary, it's something that the Peakd frontend makes possible. If you're using a different frontend I have no idea if it can be done, or how to do it if it can. Since you don't know how to do it, I guess you're not using Peakd, so you may not be able to do that.

Have a great day!