I don't blog or communicate much online. This is where I do. While I haven't commented on your blog, nor follow you, I have visited. I loved @erh.germany/aimlessly-aiming-or-how-i-became-a-gambler. You were extensively engaged, and all I could have added was kudos on your excellent writing (I only found it after the deadline to upvote it was passed). I felt I could contribute nothing of value, so I remained silent. Very rarely have your blogs coincided with the research I was conducting at the time, and that has been where my gaze has been focused.

What I mostly do online is research. Presently I have over 150 tabs open, and most of those are research papers. I do not use Hive as money. I try to not use money at all. I undertake to interact with people in my personal space, and to conduct commerce with them based on goodwill. I am too easily distracted, and cannot cope with the thousands of people I can engage with here, much less IRL and elsewhere online.

I am not very good at networking, and keenly feel that lack in my endeavors, because it is of little use to humanity if I succeed in my quest to devise a working goodwill economic mechanism without a nominal network to convey that mechanism to.

Finally, I mean you no slight, nor others I disappoint, but I believe I am dying. I am not going to be a reliable source of information, friendship, or of anything, for very much longer. While I rant about political issues and wax prosaic regarding good people and the sacred society we comprise, these are perhaps how I distract myself from my very personal experience of life and it's end. I do not want to use you as a distraction. I do not want to trick you into caring about me, either. I have undertaken to instruct my son to access my blog in the hope that he will let people know after I have died, so no one will wonder, as I still do regarding my friend @stevescoins.

I know I am a disappointment. I am only the man I am, and will not pretend to be more. I will go and pound nails today, if the weather permits, and I do not know if I will return home. While it isn't much, the fact is you will have to be satisfied with what I have spared from my inquisition of life, and derive significant meaning from relationships with others, whom you can have some expectation of continuing to live for some reasonable amount of time.

Know that I have greatly enjoyed our discussions, and am honored you have chided me on my lack of good effect, because it shows you expect more of me, that I am capable of more. I only hope you find joy in the good company of those you love, and continue to after I am gone.

I'm sorry.