“*We all experienced childhood, and many of us hope to experience parenthood. Some of us are parents already. However, there were many things that we did or were allowed to happen to us as kids, that now we are parents we can't allow. What are those things? What are the things you did as a child or were done to you as a child that you won't do to your child today? What about the ones you won't allow them to do? And why?”
Childhood was quite fun and chill, coupled with the fact that I was the one and only. All attention, love, care, and resources were showered on me. I was the envy of my cousins and family relatives.
I had everything I wanted at my beck and call effortlessly and unopposed. But there are a few things that I experienced during childhood that I wouldn't pass on to my children.
I have for years taken care of so many children. Children from different families, beliefs, religions, and cultures, and I have been good with them right from a tender age. There are some times parents do things to kids just because it was done the same to them meanwhile those practices are not embraced by their kids.
I had the same experiences as well, experiences like:
This is very common in Nigerian homes. Spare the rod and spoil the child is the phrase to justify the beating of a child.
Beating indeed corrects their senses but excessive beating makes the child fearful and afraid of the parents.
Most of these beatings have slowly turned into Abuses.
My parents have been too protective of me. No freedom to go out, to make friends, etc. I was incubated and the exposure I had was 0%. The school was the only place that gave me social power for a few hours per/day. I guess the thought that being overprotective will keep me a good girl. Find it did but it made so naive and timid because I felt like a social misfit and all of that.
Source
I knew nothing outside books, every other thing was a taboo.
When grew up and I lost them, I realized that I have just stepped into the real world.
I talked with them, played and had fun but there was no relationship between us. Communication strengthens bonds and it is what keeps a relationship alive. As an upcoming mother, I'll be jealous if my child gets a best friend she tells her personal stuffs to. There are certain things that sounded as a taboo to them when I discussed them out of curiosity. Knowledge of such issues was not given to me and I had to learn outside.
Their parenting skills were top notch except for these three I didn't didn't sit well with. Those three practices, I can't pass them on to my children.
While trying to discipline my children,I'm not against beating children but excess of it is poor. As a teacher I have crafted out methods to curb stubbornness although the came with used scarcely to spice up things.
Overprotecting a child makes the child naive and vulnerable to pressure when he or she is exposed. Whereas when the right information is concretely passed on in the right manner, such child will already be stable when exposed.
