Personally I believe we are all the god of our own reality and we all created various paths and struggles for our own growth and what we wanted to learn in this lifetime mixed in with some free will beliefs. It’s hard to admit that when we experience really painful things but I don’t believe anyone is being ‘pubished’ More that we chose to learn certain things for our souls growth. The only pain is attaching too much to the 3d reality and thinking that is all there is.