It's been a while. At least 3 months since I have been trying to change some old habits of mine but sometimes trying is not enough. What you really need is rock bottom.
What you really need is a hard fucking reset. What you need is to get drunk like never been before. And then to simply walk like you have never walked in the last decade. And to say to "saviors" that really care thank you and let them "save you". And then keep walking after they "save" you. No hearts broken, same results.
God decided it's time to rain on me. I embrace it. Life is good, now it's better. I always liked the cold.