As title says, poop knives don't work. And now we have proof!
Wait, what?
Well, that's the key find of what is the most bizarre scientific study I have read in a while:
We experimentally tested knives manufactured from frozen human feces.
Knives manufactured from frozen human feces do not work.
Lol 馃ぃ
But why would they even test for that?
Well, apparently there's this old Inuit tale of a man who butchered and disarticulated his dog using nothing but a knife made of frozen human poop
There is a well known account of an old Inuit man who refused to move into a settlement. Over the objections of his family, he made plans to stay on the ice. To stop him, they took away all of his tools. So in the midst of a winter gale, he stepped out of their igloo, defecated, and honed the feces into a frozen blade, which he sharpened with a spray of saliva. With the knife he killed a dog. Using its rib cage as a sled and its hide to harness another dog, he disappeared into the darkness.
So, sometime in 2019, a bunch of a scientists set out to find if it's actually possible to make a functional knife out of frozen human feces.
They created various... prototypes and imitated the conditions and environment of the tale as best as they could..
Surprise, surprise, the knives made out of human feces were far from functional...
Despite the hide being cold from refrigeration, instead of slicing through it the knife-edge simply melted upon contact, leaving streaks of fecal matter
LMAO 馃槀
Oh god, whoever wrote the paper did have a blast that's for sure 馃挬馃槀馃ぃ
Here's a link if you would like to read it, it's free to access. It's just.. hilarious 馃槀
And in case you wonder, here's how the poop knife looked like:
And that my friends is a good usecase of taxpayers money 馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃挬馃挬馃挬馃挬
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