Hello everyone, Happy new week , so welcome to another week ,I hope you enjoyed your weekend. Well I did, cause it rained ,the weather was very cool, and I was indoors throughout , so nothing spoilt my day, I spent it in a normal me way.
For this edition on the hive learners table , you sure will see one of my greatest fears, so here it goes, One thing I have always found very difficult to grasp is anything that has to do with calculations , see ehn, once I just see numbers flying around, especially when it involves formulas or one kind of logic that does not just click see immediately, my brain just starts to wander like someone that's lost, It is like my mind just packs its bags and says, “Sorry ehn, I am not doing this with you today.” Lol……
So It all started when I was in secondary school, I think around SS2, one funny thing is that in SS1 I was actually trying my best o , Like, I was really interested in learning, and I had this teacher who explained things well ( Master segun). He always made it make sense, You know that feeling when a teacher just knows how to get you to understand something? Yeah, he was that kind of teacher, But sadly, he left my school after a while, and that was when my real problem of calculation started.
So another new teacher that came in... hmm. I just don’t want to say he was bad, but I just did not understand his teaching style at all, worst was he can came someone like alot ,It was as if he was speaking a completely different language in class , The more he talked, the more confused I became, And then there was pressure everyone around me seemed to be catching up fast, especially in subjects like accounting, economics, and mathematics ,,Me? I was just there pretending to take notes while praying for the bell to ring. That was my life. I swear I did try to understand, but my understanding became more confusion, because bit was this teacher that taught me till I finished secondary school , I couldn't complain because who will I do that to?
So see me struggling for months trying to understand what was going on ,I would open my books at home and just stare like Omo… literally stare and hope something would click . Sometimes I will even try to read out loud hoping hearing it would help, but nothing ever worked , so I started failing tests, then assignments, and then exams time I would be shaking. At some point, I knew something had to change. That was when I made the decision to switch from the commercial department to the art department, I just could not handle it anymore, I just told myself, “Why die in silence when I can run to where my strength lies?” Lol. It wasn't funny then , I swear. So I switched to art, and life felt a bit more easier , I still had to do mathematics , because bit was compulsory, sha … I started doing better in literature, government, CRS you know, subjects that did not require me to press calculator or solve things
But the thing is, that whole fear and difficulty with calculation followed me even after secondary school, Fast forward to now that I am .done with my OND program and currently waiting to gain admission for direct entry into the university the fear is still there, my course has some calculation aspects, not very heavy ones, but once I hear “calculation,” my body just starts to stress like automatically ,Even if it is just simple business math or statistics, it is still like a mountain to me.
I know some people say, “Everything is easy once you practice. See I have tried t
that, let me not lie,I have watched YouTube videos, asked friends to explain, tried solving examples… sometimes I get it in the moment, but by the next day? It is gone like a flash, and I don't know if it is anxiety, or maybe it is just the way my brain is wired or something, But it is really frustrating because I know I need to learn it, especially now that I want to do direct entry and continue in this same course that still requires calculations, I know God will help me Somehow….It feels like I am stuck between choosing my dreams and running away from what scares me … you get?
But even with all that, I have not given up and I won't ,I still tell myself that maybe one day, with the right teacher or method or something, maybe it will finally click, I mean, other people learned it, so why not me? I just haven’t found the right way that works for me yet, but I will , One step at a time yeah….
So yeah, calculations math, accounting, statistics, anything that involves numbers and formulas that’s my hardest thing to learn. It has been a journey, and the struggle is still ongoing , but I am hoping one day I will look back and say, “Wow, I actually got through this.” ONEDAY.....
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