If I wake up one morning and hear that the world is ending in the next 24 hours, I seriously don’t think I will panic or anything, I don’t even think I will cry in any way, I feel like I will just sit still on my bed , or in the living room, and take a deep breathe , You know when something happens that is just completely out of your control? yeah..... That kind of thing that even if you shout from now till tomorrow, nothing will change? So yeah that’s how I imagine it would feel, a strange calm, like, “So this is how everything will end ehn ?”
I will probably laugh a bit at the irony of life, like just imagine after all the stress, the worry, the trying to make ends meet, the nights of overthinking about the future… it turns out there is no future again, this life ehn, you will just be planning, making goals, thinking of how to hustle more, and then just like that, something comes to remind you that you were never truly in charge.
Me I don’t think I will spend those hours trying to run anywhere, where am I running to? Which corner of the earth will not be affected? we that cannot even survive Lagos traffic, is it apocalypse we want to outrun? No please, I will just remain where I am, no need to be going up and down for nothing.
The first thing I will do is gather my kids, Just bring them close, I will probably cook something small for us to eat together, sha nothing serious , maybe noodles or rice, something fast that won't waste time, I will watch them eat, watch them laugh, listen to their tiny conversations that never make sense but somehow mean everything, i will look at their faces like I am memorizing them.
I will call my mom and tell her thank you for everything , I mean a real thank you, not the quick, everyday one, the one that holds years inside it, I will tell her she did well, I will tell her I love her, I don’t think I will call too many people , not because I don’t care, but because I want my last hours to be full, not scattered thoughts and all.
I won’t waste time trying to fix old issues or reopen wounds, no “let’s talk about what happened in 2018.” No “I want to explain myself.” No stress, if we didn’t resolve it before, it is okay, I forgive you in my heart, I hope you forgive me too, Life is too short to carry heavy things at the end.
I will also step outside, not to look for where to go, but just to feel the air, I will look at the sky, I feel like the sky will look extra beautiful that day, like it knows what will happen, I will sit with my thoughts a bit, I will remember all the versions of myself I have been, the scared one, the stubborn one, the hopeful one, the tired one, the one that loved too deeply, the one that didn’t know what she was doing but kept going.
Maybe I will pray too, not the long, dramatic prayer, just something very simple, something honest.
“God, I know You have been here all along, I don’t know how the next part works, but please hold us well" yeah this kind of Prayer that one are not dramatic about.
In those last minutes, I will just be present. No phone, no social media, no worrying about tomorrow, Just me, the people I love, and the moment.
And when the time comes, I want it to meet me in peace , not because I am ready to go, but because I lived, Because I loved because I tried, and because I was here.
God forbid the world ends now, God Should just Save us
This is my entry to the hive Ghana prompt
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