Happy Weekend everyone.
So yeah... If I am being honest, I feel like I choose myself every day… but not always in the noisy or loud, obvious way people do expect, it is not always some dramatic self care day with candles and soft music, etc, sometimes choosing myself is quiet, sometimes it is just like a mental decisions that i make inside.
But now, if we are talking about doing something big and obvious just for me? Hmmm..... I can not confidently say that i do that often , I don't know why really, but I don't think I do.
Okay see yeah, i am naturally someone who likes the people around me to be okay first, If my loved ones are fine, if everyone is settled, if there is peace around me, I feel more relaxed, so m
st of the time, my energy goes outward, me I am checking on people, thinking about other responsibilities, making sure that things are in place, and see here, I will not lie, I don’t hate that part of me, nope, I actually like being that person, this is just me being me.
But now recently, I have started realising that me choosing myself does not mean that I love others less, It just means that I am also included in the list of people that I do care about, lately, the one thing I have been intentionally choosing for myself is to better my life, that might sound broad, but it is actually very personal, i have been more conscious about not depriving myself of growth. Not postponing my dreams unnecessarily, not constantly putting my own goals at the bottom of the list.
Sometimes we get so used to surviving that we forget to actually build, we keep saying, one day I will l do this, or wen things settle, I will focus on that, and that “one day” keeps moving further and further away, so choosing myself now means I an trying to close that gap.
So it means learning new things even when nobody is watching, it means that I am improving my skills quietly, it means allowing myself to imagine a better version of my life and actually taking small steps toward it.
And see, it is not always easy.
See ehn, there are still moments when I feel guilty for focusing on myself, those moments when I think, dhouldn’t I be doing something else for someone?, But I am learning that growth is not selfish, self-improvement is not wickedness, wanting better for yourself is not pride.
In fact, the better I become, the more I can actually show up for others in a really healthy way.
Choosing myself also means protecting my peace more, not overextending, not saying yes to everything, not to draining myself just to prove I care, that one is still a work in progress, but at least I’m aware of it now.
The truth is, choosing yourself doesn’t have to be big or loud, it does noy have to look like quitting everything and running away, smetimes it is just making small daily decisions that align with the life you want.
So yes, I may not be taking dramatic solo vacations or somethings or doing big flashy things for myselfz but like in my own quiet way, I am choosing me, i am choosing growth, i am choosing not to abandon my own dreams while taking care of other people.
And honestly, that feels like an important step.
Because at the end of the day, if I don’t show up for my own life, who will now do it?
image Is Mine
