So necessary is love in the life of a man that he cannot be altogether without it. But a love that does not seek reality only frustrates man in his inmost being.
The difference between real and unreal love is not to sought in the intensity of the love, or in it's subjective sincerity, or in it's articulateness. These three are very valuable qualities when they exist in a love that ia real. But they are very dangerous when they are associated with a love that is fictitious. In neither case are they any sure indication of the nature of the love to which they belong, though it is true that one might expect man to feel an intense, sincere and articulate love only for a real object and not for an unreal one.
The trouble is that love is something quite other than the mere disposition of a subject confrontation with an object. In fact, when love is a mere subject-object relationship, it is not real love at all. And therefore it matters little to inquire whether the object of one's love is real or not, since if our love is only our impulsion towards an "object" or a "thing," it is not yet fully love.
The reality of love is determined by the relationship itself which it establishes. Love is only possible between persons as persons. That is to say, if I love you, I must love you as a person and not as a thing. And in that case my relationship to you is not merely the relationship of a subject to an object, but it is analogous to my relationship to myself. It is so to speak, a relationship of a subject to a subject. This strange sounding expression is only another way of saying something very familiar: I must know how to love you as myself.
