There's a YouTube channel I started watching a few months back, and the tag line (or some such thing) is, "Facts, not Fuckery." That phrase kept running through my brain while reading your post (in a good way, of course).

So much truth in all you've said. I consider myself lucky because back a million years ago in my early twenties, I was in the perfect frame of mind to be pulled into a codependent relationship (and to be fair, there were elements of it in the beginning). However, my first-boyfriend-turned-husband ended up being my best friend and constant supporter for just over thirty-five years now (omg, I'm old, aren't I?).

Thank you for sharing this amazing insight.