Whenever she shouts at me, a piece of my heart shatters

I grew up in a quiet household, a literal quiet place wherein emotions and thoughts are set aside and we just need to stay silent on whatever is going on. Such stuff was trivial until we discovered that one family member was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

In the hindsight, we think that our setup is pretty typical but my mom always has a hard time with her pent-up emotions and frustrations. She doesn't hurt us by always crying at night asking what is wrong with her and how she raised us.

Now being a parent somehow I understand, that moms and parents at times don't want to burst out on their children if possible they will just hurt themselves instead rather than hurt their kids.