Adults are also afraid. Did you have to wake up at night with your heart beating fast and the thought of a possible loss of work and inability to support a family? Were you afraid to seem ridiculous, ridiculous?
At first glance, "adult" fears are of a social nature. But in fact, their nature is absolutely identical to the nature of children's fears - this is the fear of not surviving.
Lack of a confident survival skills is the basis of any fear. It is very ancient and exists as long as the life exists. It can be manifested, for example, in fear that you will not have money or in fear of "losing face" or "white crow's syndrome". Of course, these fears have a more modern "coloring" than in ancient times. For example, the fear of not surviving physically in modern conditions is manifested as a fear of losing a job. The fear of expulsion is most often manifested in the "fear of losing face".
It is important to understand that these fears rise in us through our certain subpersonalities. For example, it could be your sublimity, grown up by the example of your great-grandmother, who survived hunger or deprivation during the war. It'll be mistake try to suppress these subpersonalities or to ignore them. But you can try to "negotiate" with them. If subpersonality is ignored, it will begin to partisan. This can be manifested in psychosomatic diseases or "accidential" self-hurting. If you know that from time to time you have a fear of being left without a livelihood or afraid to say "no" in response to a request that is painful for you, try the following exercises.
Exercise 1. "Audit of resources" Write a list of your tangible and intangible assets. For example: "I have an apartment. If I do not have money, I can rent one room" or "I have a wedding dress that I can rent".
Intangible assets are your skills. Write out everything that you could do to earn for living. Even the simplest skills. For example: "I can print, I can sew, I can cook, I can drive a car, I can walk with someone else's dog".
You will be surprised at how much you actually have and how much you can!
It should be remembered that "red" subpersonalities require a minimum level sufficient for survival. After completing these exercises, you will show your "red" subpersonalities that in any case you can provide this minimum level of survival.
Exercise 2. "Survival" Select the minimum amount of money you need to survive for a week at the lowest level. Try to live on it for a week. With the help of this exercise you will show to your "red" subpersonalities that in the event of a crisis you will be able to survive on a minimum amount of money, since such experience you already have.
If you already have the experience of survival, appreciate what you feel when you think about it. If you feel that, thanks to this experience, you became stronger, then "the lesson is passed", if the memory causes unpleasant feelings or fear - "the lesson is not passed" and you need to try once more.
Exercise 3. "Loss of the face" Do something outrageous for you. For example, go to the subway with red clown nose; walk with an iron on a leash instead of a dog. Choose a "degree of non-standard behavior" according to your feelings, we do not set a goal to die of fear! It is important: to be alone; do not choose to perform the exercise in places where this can damage your reputation; do not break the law.
Disclose your fears and defeat them. Fears prevent us from living, deprive us of creativity. Awareness is the first step to a normal and harmonious life.
