In my previous post on The Games People Play I was able to discuss why I opted to choose this book by Dr. Eric Berne. As a continuation to my own stand of the Games People Play from the search of happiness https://steemit.com/nature/@torania/the-games-people-play-happiness-on-growing-crops to being grateful https://steemit.com/psychology/@torania/the-games-people-play-being-grateful today, I am going to post about forgiving.
Black and white for forgiveness
As the common saying goes to Forgive is to Forget. This is one way of manipulating the behavior of other people so that they are going to forgive whatever mistakes you committed towards him or her. Each time a person interact with another person these individuals will be in a state to defend him or her self. As a human being it is an innate feeling for all of us to get rid of any harm-survival of the fittest they say. We all aim for survival. Commonly, when we commit mistakes we wanted that the person whom we are at fault at will forgive us that easily. Yet, it is not easy to forgive someone. So, if we are a person seeking for forgiveness we look for ways so that our guilt feeling will lessen. We can experience fewer burden if we are forgiven. Thus, we are going to find ways to do this. In order to be forgiven, in the games we play during conversation we tend to become manipulative. We are going to choose the discussions and the words that we are going to buy out in favor for our behavior. For example, we benchmark our own experience of forgiving so that we will be forgiven. In the book of Dr. Eric Berne he call this as Schlemial.
When we are forgiven it means that we will be free from the feeling of remorse. At the end of the day, no matter how many times we are forgiven but we can never forget the situation. The feeling of guilt is still there but it is within our locust of control to feel that we are already forgiven. No matter what will happen in our life it is always between our choice and perception. It is about seeing ourselves in a positive manner. Basically, it is about our conscious state over the unconscious state of others.
